A few months ago, I attempted suicide because of my severe depression. I was mainly upset because my boyfriends parents weren't allowing us to be together since they hate me, his baby mama was disgusted by me, and he was nearly ignoring me for his son and baby mama. I cried and cried all night but he wouldn't listen and when he left me at my house that day, I just tried to end it. We ended up breaking up, I went to the hospitals psyche ward for five days and so far I've been doing pretty well. Until now. This boyfriend and I are back together. He is the love of my life, we get along so well and were planning on getting married next year. But... His baby mama has a major issue with me. She says she will get a restraining order on me because I'm a danger to everyone around me. She doesn't even live in this state. >_> needless to say this has effected me quite a lot. My boyfriend and I are trying to move I together, trying to get our finances settled up, and he wants to have a baby together. I'm almost finished with college and in two years I'll have my degree so I can get a better job than I have now, not that management isn't great, it's just not my cup of tea. I'm depressed again, the similar feeling to how I felt before my suicide attempt. I'm scared thAt if I marry my boyfriend thAt she will take his son away claiming I'm a danger, or take us to court. She's a jealous woman, not for him, but for his happiness. She hasn't been happy in a long time. So when he has something nice in his life she tries to take it away. He swears up and down that he wants me, that if losing his son meant keeping me then so be it. His son lives miles away and it's too expensive to see him often. He skypes and one day his son will probably want to spend more time with him, so he's not worried about never seeing his son again. But I am. I don't want to hurt anyone emotionally or physically. I spend more time hating myself than I do other people. I guess basically I'm trying to reach out, without Alerting my boyfriend. I don't want him to feel responsible for my depression. My medications don't seem to be working like they should. Is my depression caused by my boyfriend? Am I too much of an awful person because I'm jealous of his relationship with his son and his baby mama? Will having his baby fix my problems? I'm scared I'll try again...this time I'm trying to find help.