This time last year was so different .. Granted I was still neurotic because well that's just the person I am but .. I had a good man in my life it wasn't overly serious we were just getting to know each other but due to circumstances and how we met spent Christmas and nye together with his family and our friends .. It was nice .. Things were just good .. But things ended and for the rest of 2015 the year spiraled out of control. I have not one single ounce of Christmss spirit in my body .. My family moved so I won't be seeing them . And the friends I was with last year have invited me over and the same ex is also going to be there .. However he has a new girlfriend and all I have is a nervous break down and a 20 pound weight loss that I didn't need that just makes me look sick and hair falling out right and left ! So I don't think I'll be going there either ! I would ignore the day if it wasn't for my son .. I don't know how this happened how things got so bad .. How it got to the point I can't fix them .. How i got so messy and I can't even explain ..