the attacks

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Dec 31, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    after yet another verbal attack from daughter and husband who just doesn't get it i dissociated and needed so badly to somehow hide I wanted so bad to just end it just get rid of the pain but had to suck it up again and prentend that nothing was wrong I am a fffff adult and should know how to handle the assaults. He doesn't get it i am not an adult at all i am this weak pathetic thing that wants to hide that wants to die. I wish to god she didn't come home i have no strength left to deal with anything i am not me anymore i am not me
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    violet we are here for you...I am so sorry that you have been attacked like this you do not deserve it at all I know this and know you so please do not let their poison in to your heart and mind.
    Please keep writing and stay here with us..those that care about you.
    Lots of love, Bambi
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun you are still you. Deep down hiding inside is you. The hurt is out front and on top. And you're too tired to fight it right now. So let it be there. Let it take the crap. You stay hiding, safe. And know that you have friends here that will take up the fight for you. Until YOU are strong enough to peek out and say OK enough is enough! Loves ya!
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I wish i could just get control and keep it I wish i didn't let this pain inside eat me up. I wish i could just somehow kill this child inside somehow get rid of her. Oh why does she have so much power over me how can i be so dam weak how i wish i could get help but i can't i have to pretend i am okay i am in control i am a professional i hate me so much
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Violet don't fight the child you have inside,,,embrace her as you would your own child..it is a part of you, not all of you as you even said you are a professional, you are a friend here as well...you are many things and a child that hurts and is easily hurt is one aspect of the beautiful person that you are.
    If you think I am making this up go read the replies you have given others. I have read them and I see a strong and caring person with a good head on her shoulders and a lot of wisdom. The same childlike aspect you have is also the source of your caring and playful side so do not condemn yourself or this aspect of yourself...please be gentle with yourself.
    I am glad you posted and are talking it out versus acting it out...we all love you here and you have given a lot so please lean on us during this time, keep posting and please be gentle with you!
    Lots of love Bambi
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    This so not logical and i hate it They are still away and i am glad I did some baking as it helps me calm down I took a warm bath as well. The pain is going away now. I hate it when people yell there is no need for this I am okay this is so not logical but then what is. thanks for caring take care im okay i just had to let the pain out okay take care. It is good to see you back Bambi i am glad you are feeling better and you too Itmahanh it is good to see you posting take care okay
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am glad your pain is easing violet and glad you know we care about you...can you bake some more? nice to have something that soothes the nerves..I too like a hot bath and the best of all a massage! Well anyhow glad to see you are feeling better.
    Where are you btw? Have you had new years yet?
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No it is 1149 here so 11 minutes to go Have you had New years yet. WEll husband and daughter just came in Apologised but i really don't care they will watch tv and see new years in i am staying away from them. I am in Ontario Canada I hope you have a Good New Years I hear my daughter yelling again so i am going to bed let her dad deal with her take care and have a great new year okay thanks for everything Now 1151 nine minutes to go
     
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