A difficult thing i've come to realise is over the years is how much i've come to romanticize suicide. I was thinking about this the past few days, and have come to the conclusion that its a significant hurdle that i have to overcome to be able to move forward. It feels like it's less a last resort, and moreso something that is actually a good idea, pretty much regardless of the circumstances. The idea of being without feeling, both pleasure and pain, just seems so appealing right now. I know the consequences of it, the pain it will cause the few people who give a damn about me, and even that the experience of death may not neccessarily feel a good one, but even with that, suicide seems like something i don't quite have the strength to do, rather than something i can actively say no to. If i could turn my life off as simply as pressing a button, i'm not sure honestly what i do, but i do think i would press it. I guess i just want to know if anyone has been through the same, or if anyone has any ideas how to get over this.