Im single again. I fell in love a year ago with someone. He and i felt the same way but never told each other. Then a year later we get together. It was beautiful. And then. He breaks up with me because he doesn't have time for me, he's scared, i dont know what. I'm heartbroken beyond words. How can someone who says they will love you forever and never want to loose you just leave. I have no job. I was made redundant. I live with my parents. My father thinks im a failure even though he puts on a smile most days. Im looking for a job but they dont exactally want me atm as i dont have a degree or any special skills so im at the bottom of the pile as it is. My mum is going deaf and i cant really talk to her anyway. My sisters hate me. They dont even so much as look at me. I sleep in the livingroom on a camp bed as niether of them will share their room and of course this is all ok with my paretns as they dont say a god damn thing to them as they are both attending uni so they are worth more than me. I have a mate i can talk to and hang out with. However i havent been able to cry properly about this yet. About my breakup <a week ago now> she knows about it and wants me to talk about my feelings but mostly i keep them inside. I just need a good cry is all, im telling myself next time i go over to hers ill just let it out. She might be moving away soon and i dont have any friends as close as her. Id miss her too much. I went over to hers on saturday and we decided to go out for the night to a club, we went met a group of guys, one of them kissed me then we all arranging to go tp another thing this friday like, but i found out that the guy who kissed me is seeing someone. Its like. I think ill never be lucky in love. I just cant stop feeling about the relationship just gone, About how i loved so much that i died when i knew it was over and he just walked away like nothing happened. I've never felt so low. I just want things to go back to the way they where. Im making a doctors appointment today so i can ither get anti d's or sleeping pills. Ill use them or save them up for a day when ive lost the will to cope. Im giving myself till the end of the year to fix things up. Get a decent job and move out. Or im done. On new years eve i plan to sit alone in some hotel with a bottle and pills for company. Wish me luck.