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The bane of existance

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by darkplace, Jul 13, 2009.

  1. darkplace

    darkplace Well-Known Member

    Im single again. I fell in love a year ago with someone. He and i felt the same way but never told each other. Then a year later we get together. It was beautiful. And then. He breaks up with me because he doesn't have time for me, he's scared, i dont know what. I'm heartbroken beyond words. How can someone who says they will love you forever and never want to loose you just leave.

    I have no job. I was made redundant. I live with my parents. My father thinks im a failure even though he puts on a smile most days. Im looking for a job but they dont exactally want me atm as i dont have a degree or any special skills so im at the bottom of the pile as it is. My mum is going deaf and i cant really talk to her anyway. My sisters hate me. They dont even so much as look at me. I sleep in the livingroom on a camp bed as niether of them will share their room and of course this is all ok with my paretns as they dont say a god damn thing to them as they are both attending uni so they are worth more than me.

    I have a mate i can talk to and hang out with. However i havent been able to cry properly about this yet. About my breakup <a week ago now> she knows about it and wants me to talk about my feelings but mostly i keep them inside. I just need a good cry is all, im telling myself next time i go over to hers ill just let it out. She might be moving away soon and i dont have any friends as close as her. Id miss her too much.

    I went over to hers on saturday and we decided to go out for the night to a club, we went met a group of guys, one of them kissed me then we all arranging to go tp another thing this friday like, but i found out that the guy who kissed me is seeing someone. Its like. I think ill never be lucky in love. I just cant stop feeling about the relationship just gone, About how i loved so much that i died when i knew it was over and he just walked away like nothing happened. I've never felt so low. I just want things to go back to the way they where.

    Im making a doctors appointment today so i can ither get anti d's or sleeping pills. Ill use them or save them up for a day when ive lost the will to cope.

    Im giving myself till the end of the year to fix things up. Get a decent job and move out. Or im done. On new years eve i plan to sit alone in some hotel with a bottle and pills for company. Wish me luck.
  2. darkplace

    darkplace Well-Known Member

    Would be grateful for one answer or friendly note to this post but i guess i am as much invisible here as i am in reality. The smallest actions hurt the most.
  3. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Hey sorry I didn't see this earlier. :arms: Love is difficult... it takes a few attempts with different people to get it right. Maybe it feels like you'll never meet someone who can compare to your last boyfriend, but eventually you will. Going out clubbing is a nice way to remind yourself that other guys exist, though personally I'd be weary of starting a relationship with someone I met at a club. Please cancel that appointment... Use the time you're single to work on how low you're feeling, maybe with therapy? That way when someone does come along you'll be ready for it. :hug: