the beast bites again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by TJ, Jul 17, 2011.

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  1. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    right now im really struggling with not self harming , its been almost 6 months since i last did this form of self mutilation. ie. cutting / burning.. etc etc

    but tonight its either self harm or wind up in hospital threw an attempt , things have gone pear shaped in my life recently , i thought i was on the right path so to speak and that things would eventually get better , but the beast has bitten back once again , the depression , the voices , the lack of control of myself are just a few things to name . right now i just want to ease the pain im experiencing and the only way i really know how to do that is to destroy myself that little bit more.

    i want to remain numb i dont want to feel my feelings , as they are too fucken painful to feel . the grief , the loss , the hurt , the feeling of being out of contorl , it all just lands on me when i cant least handle it . i know i have to let go off my past and such but to do that i need to work thru the things that happened to me , but to be honest i never want to face them , they killed part of me the first time i had to live it why the fuck would i want to live it again and cause myself even more pain ?

    i really cant handle this anymore im giving myself another 30 mins to "pull outta this " and then im gonna see to it that i dont feel this way :sad:
     
  2. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I am here if you wanna talk hun. You can get through this you are a strong person and i believe in you. :hug:
     
  3. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    we're all here for you esther bunny!

    Stay strong beautiful, you CAN do this.

    I believe in you.

    Much :wub: and :hug: for you in this hard time.

    Sam :snake:
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    esssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssther!

    :hug: for you during this difficult time!
     
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