the beast within *possible trigger*

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by corang, Nov 22, 2009.

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  1. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    I feel its heart beat inside me
    Trying to match my own
    Remain hidden to everyone
    But I know it cannot be mine
    This thing inside me is horrifying
    It takes control when I’m weak
    Makes me do it’s will
    Wreak havoc on my body mind and soul
    Do whatever makes me more susceptible
    The more it consumes me the longer it takes hold each time
    Making my heart colder
    Slowly withdrawing me from the world
    Words and actions merely cause it to go into hiding
    But it’s too late when it takes retreats I hunger for it
    Pull it back close in my solitary times
    Hide it when solitude is impossible
    Hide it with an unholy veil of lies
    I’m addicted to the pain it causes me
    The grip it has obtained over years has left scars
    Scars I want more than each breath I take
    Scars I want to multiply like rabbits
    I wish to cover my body in scars now
    If your medications causes the beast to leave I will continue his work
    Further my addiction to its personal brand of pain
    Then maybe just maybe no medication can save me
    If I don’t want to be saved why do you force me to be?
    Because you know best? Who knows me better than me
    Nobody knows me better than me nobody ever will
    F*** the psychiatrists f*** the therapists
    You see what I want you to see and that is my unholy veil
    The only way you will ever truly see inside my head is when I’m gone
    When you get a copy of the bloody note I have in my death grip
    After I make the final decent into hell to meet my beast face to face
    Be eternally tortured for what I have become
    I have become this because I let the beast win didn’t fight it
    Instead I joined it and helped to end all that I was
    Forget the past look to the future of what it wanted me to be
    It wanted me to be under its thumb control me not for a lifetime but for eternity

    Felt a little creative so i wrote this up. Its a first draft of what almost happened to me. My family and some of you got me through that very rough time wanna say thanks to Mike (Shades) without you this wouldnt be an almost happened to me itd be a did happen to me.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you got the help you needed I am glad the beast didn't win. Very creative write.
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