• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Ideas & Opinions The Benefits of Being Single

LonelyHiker

Waitering for Godot
#1
@Lane said: '@LonelyHiker being single does have its advantages *yes, without hijacking this thread, interesting topic for another thread, ha'

So here it is - a thread in support of all the single folks out there.

Newly single or long since solo, it doesn't matter. Being single does have its advantages.

What do you like about flying solo?

I like not having to worry about leaving the seat up when it's 2am and I'm half asleep 🚽
 

Gonz

sick and tired of being sick and tired
#7
Anoyone here who knows me at all knows how much I loved being part of a couple, and that it's still how I define myself. But y'all also know how I'm choosing not to pursue any future romantic relationships, because being single is so fucking much better than being with the wrong person for so many reasons.

And I'm not even talking about ending up with a shitty partner. Two entirely well-meaning people, both acting in good faith, can make each other fucking miserable if they're both convinced that they need to be in a relationship "just because" and try to force one where it just isn't working.
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#8
I'm quite sure that my opinion on this matter is part of my disorder, but I've never been able to stand being alone. There was just always something so painful and empty about it. But on the same tip, I was never willing to be with "just anyone" either. I was always only about long-term, committed relationships, even as a teenager. I've never actually casually dated anyone. So my answer to this question is that, for me, there really aren't any benefits to being alone. At least, not any that outweigh that deep-rooted emptiness.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#10
Come on people, this thread asked about the joys of being single, and you say you don't see any. You're not helping. :D
  • No dealing with someone else's issues. Yours are more than enough.
  • No constant pressure of being good enough for someone.
  • No [all the problems people have with their partners] - which includes a LOT (weddings/divorces/defining relationships, the baby issue, finances, sex, communication, the future......).
  • The value of independency and freedom.
  • No dealing with their family.
  • You can have a foul mood in peace. Any mood, in fact.
  • You're not controlled by anyone.
  • The value of silence when you come home after an exhausting day.
  • No compromises in general.
  • The kitty is yours and yours only to play with. ♡ @Lilmeowmeow
 
Last edited:

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#13
It's... interesting. When does it become 'too much independence'?
When does the lack of a ground become so blindingly liberating, that one, lost, prays for the shackles of gravity?
It depends what kind of independency you mean, but in general, you're pretty much either independent or dependent on something, or worse, on someone. I prefer not depending on another human being to the extent people usually do in relationships. Independency doesn't mean you can only count on yourself, or that no one can count on you if need be.
 

LonelyHiker

Waitering for Godot
#14
I'm quite sure that my opinion on this matter is part of my disorder, but I've never been able to stand being alone. There was just always something so painful and empty about it. But on the same tip, I was never willing to be with "just anyone" either. I was always only about long-term, committed relationships, even as a teenager. I've never actually casually dated anyone. So my answer to this question is that, for me, there really aren't any benefits to being alone. At least, not any that outweigh that deep-rooted emptiness.
I understand where you're coming from. I still experience bouts of soulcrushing loneliness, albeit those episodes are thankfully infrequent these days. Certainly there are moments in my life that I would love to share with a romantic partner.

That said, I have adjusted well to living singly, almost too well. I often cancel plans with friends, simply because I am content to stay home and read a book, stargaze with the telescope on the back porch, or work on a project..
 

LonelyHiker

Waitering for Godot
#17
I'd love to be able to do that. What kind of telescope do you have? How close up are you able to view things?
My current scope is a 3" Orion refrator with an equatorial mount. It can resolve Jupiter's Galilean moons, Saturn's rings, the phases of Venus and Mercury...and lots of detail on the moon.

I've been a big astronomy nerd since I was 6 or so..
 

LonelyHiker

Waitering for Godot
#18
My current scope is a 3" Orion refrator with an equatorial mount. It can resolve Jupiter's Galilean moons, Saturn's rings, the phases of Venus and Mercury...and lots of detail on the moon.

I've been a big astronomy nerd since I was 6 or so..
I posted this too early by accident, it has been edited to add what was missing...

Just an OCD moment lol...
 

Inanimate

Well-Known Member
#19
Newly single or long since solo, it doesn't matter.
I would like to add “congenitally single” or “since birth” to the mix. I’m only keenly aware of what I lack and the emptiness of solitude as opposed to what has been replaced with a void (or presence of absence). Of course, that extremely luminous but tantalizingly distant embodiment of hope does impart some “soulcrushing loneliness” (for a lack of better words on my end).

As far as benefits go:
  • No impetus, save for my biological imperative to live and others whom I care about. No one to chronically prod me to “be better,” or rather “get better,” whether it be a direct consequence or self-imposed one.
  • No performance anxiety. Mind you, I’m not just referring to the growing demand to pleasure and confound someone in bed. I’m talking about the ever-changing goal post that is perfectionism, which has now wormed its way into my (hypothetical) romantic relationship(s). If there is ever someone to impress, it would be a romantic partner whether he/she be a potential partner or long-standing one. I didn’t forget the platitude, “be yourself,” which in itself is still a performance.
  • No marriage or marriage proposals. I never understood the fuss about marriage other than its practical implications. Unless my (still hypothetical) partner, whom I truly want to spend the rest of my time with, truly cannot resist the temptation, I wouldn't go out of my way to parade myself and recite contrived marriage vows. More often than not, it’s a needless prison sentence. Lifelong imprisonment within my own skin is punishment enough.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$150.00
Goal
$255.00
Top