The best advice you have ever been given?

Discussion in 'Strategies for Success' started by Petal, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    The best advice I have ever been given was to cut off all contact with my ex boyfriend. He tore down my confidence. He broke my heart. He was a user. He was verbally abusive also a diagnosed psychopath.

    I had left him of my own accord in September 2013, got in contact again a good while back, thanks to Freya on here I have seized all contact. He is not worth my time. I am better than him and always will be, I needed counselling to get over the things he said to me, I felt emotionally beaten down. So that day I was very upset, Freya listened and she helped me more than she will ever know. That's the best advice I was ever given, what was yours?
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I have had various friends, on here and otherwise, give me great advice over the years. They still continue to do so on a regular basis. One person told me once that I shouldn't settle for less than I think I deserve, because I deserve the best that life has to offer. I have had friends help build up my confidence and self-worth so I have begun to see myself in a different light. But one of the best things I was advised to do was to go to therapy. It's hard to name everything because there have been some good ones.
  3. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    My therapist once told me, in response to my complaint that feeling dizzy is a major anxiety trigger for me, that I need to remember to breath. She taught me several exercises for breathing that I use frequently when I start to feel anxiety coming on. It really does help a great deal. Before that, when I would feel anxious my breathing would become shallow, then I would start feeling dizzy, then anxiety would spike to panic.
  4. querida

    querida Well-Known Member

    It's okay not to be okay!

    I think this is the best advice I was ever given.

    When I was really depressed I has so many people telling me to cheer up, or saying it will get better etc etc, but none of that really helped me at all. I always just though well what do they know.

    I realised after much contemplation that it is actually okay not to be okay. Sometimes crappy things happen to people and its totally normal to feel crap about it. Society puts too much pressure on people to be 'happy' all the time, which makes you feel like a freak if you feel sad, when really so many people feel exactly the same way!
  5. Failure

    Failure Well-Known Member

    That there are differences between what you emotionally think is happening, and what is really happening. Eg. you may think that everyone hates you, when in reality not everyone does.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Great advice and very true! :hug: I too think all the time things are happening when they are not, we just have to detach ourselves from that.
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Depression is like a window. It you feel low the window is wide open but you are high then the window is closed.
  8. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    It is actually a quote but it helps me sometimes when I wonder if it's me being all wrong when I tried my best but only get problems back :

    "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

    Sometimes we are doing the things right, with kindness and honesty but probably world is full of really twisted people who likes to turn everything beautiful into pain.
    But that doesn't mean what we've done wasn't right.
  9. storm

    storm Well-Known Member

    Stop worrying about everyone else all the time and get yourself back on track. You only have one life... Live it.

    I said that to my bestie
  10. caspar

    caspar Well-Known Member

    "Stop thinking so much. Your mind is creating problems/excuses." To be honest I've heard the same kind of thing before but I think why it really got through to me when it did was because the person who said it to me knew exactly what I was going through, because he does the same thing. But he sort of told me off at the time, which is a little funny now that I think about it. It made me aware a lot of how I just totally get carried away, wrapped up in thinking and creating situations that are not really the truth. It is also a reminder that other people are often our greatest teachers and we always have something to learn :D
  11. Dan99

    Dan99 Active Member

    "without suffering, there can be no happiness"

    This statement is so simple yet was so effective in making me ACCEPT suffering........ because sometimes i catch myself being a bit too idealistic......having too many unrealistic expectations from life.
  12. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    So many pieces of advice fall into this category for me., but it took me a long time to accept and incorporate some bits of advice. The one that started helping most and that I continue to use most often:

    Feelings are normal - emotions are inborn. We can't exactly control our feelings, but we can control our behavior in response to our feelings. Feelings do not require any action, and certainly not self-destructive action (self-harm, suicide, damaging property or other people physically or with words). We always have the option to choose "constructive" or "benign" behaviors in the face of our feelings (walk away, go to bed, see a movie, read a book, go for a run, write down my feelings...) - the feelings will settle down on their own. (They might return, but we can choose again and again how to respond to them - constructively or benignly, as opposed to destructively.)
  13. agwoodliffe

    agwoodliffe Well-Known Member

    Psychopaths have a genetic inability to feel stress or 'kindness'. You could classify them as write-offs.

    The only useful advice I can think of is, before suicide, just check if you're body is actually ready for it.
  14. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter


    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
    the same night.

    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
    not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be

    3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'

    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
    you to share yours with them.

    5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    7. Never lick a steak knife.

    8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
    reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
    that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
    from her at that moment.

    11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

    12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
    religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
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    13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
    person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

    14. Your friends love you anyway.

    15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built
    the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
  15. bleedingrage

    bleedingrage Active Member

    Don't ever give up. Even if you hit bottom because the only way to go after that is back up. You do have to fight to be happy but its a fight worth fighting. Funny how in the despair and sadness is where you find the strength to give life hell when its beaten you down.