i think i went too far away a few days ago. i did to myself the biggest scar ever. if i was afraid of myself before, now i´m terrified, because it wasn´t enough, it wasn´t enough blood or pain. I reopened the scar twice since then (the second was a few minutes ago), and it hurts a lot but is not enough. i wonder when will it be enough?why i´m not able to stop even for the person i love? for the promess i made to him. i tought that i was out of control before new year, i stopped for about 10 days, and now i started again i can´t stop, and is getting worse every second, and the problem is that i don´t want to stop, i don´t want to cope, i want help sometimes when i realize how bad i am, but most of the time i don´t care. i feel useless, and that i can´t do anything right because i can´t even keep my promeses.