the big one(trggier may be)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jane doe, Jan 27, 2007.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i think i went too far away a few days ago. i did to myself the biggest scar ever. if i was afraid of myself before, now i´m terrified, because it wasn´t enough, it wasn´t enough blood or pain. I reopened the scar twice since then (the second was a few minutes ago), and it hurts a lot but is not enough. i wonder when will it be enough?why i´m not able to stop even for the person i love? for the promess i made to him. i tought that i was out of control before new year, i stopped for about 10 days, and now i started again i can´t stop, and is getting worse every second, and the problem is that i don´t want to stop, i don´t want to cope, i want help sometimes when i realize how bad i am, but most of the time i don´t care. i feel useless, and that i can´t do anything right because i can´t even keep my promeses.
     
  2. promises are not a priority, your life and health is more important. If you're not willing to see a doctor, please at least try to keep the wound cleaned and bandaged.

    please stay safe
     
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thank you, i always take care of my wounds because i don´t want to die of tetanos, but thank you for caring really;)
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You said that sometimes you want help. Take this time and get what you need. I am glad to hear that you are taking care of your wounds to avoid infection. That is a positive step. You remained cut freee for awhile and can do it agin. There is still a prt of you that wants it. Let this part become stronger. Encourage yourself. When you have a setback, don't sweat it. They happen to all of us. Be kind to yourself jane doe. You deserve it. :hug:
     
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thak you gentlelady, but is so hard not to do it when you think about it all the time
     
  6. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Is there no way you can get professional help?
     
  7. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    i´ve tryed but , they just sit and say that i need to talk to my parents about this, and they doesn´t evn know about how i feel or about what i do, i want to find a solution that doesn´t involves them. besides they´ve said that i´m not too bad because they see it all the time, but, i´m having eater dissorders now because i´m nervuose because i feel i need to do it all the time and my stomach get closed. i´ve lost 4 kg and i already was slim for my height,i feelweak and i´m sleeping a lot. it´s just i don´t know what else to do, just hurting myself
     
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