It feels inevitable that it is going to win. Now I am declared treatment resistant. No medication does much. The depression is rolling in hard now and I have little to fight it with. As I am sick of the repeating cycles. Sick of all things mental health related. Just fed up of it all. Coping mechanisms are failing, as are reasons to keep fighting. I am in such mental pain I sometimes just give up and sleep. I find myself resenting those who keep me here, even though that is so ungrateful. But I feel this is no way to live any more and see no hope of a better tomorrow. Only a worsening one of ever deepening layers of madness and the anguish of surviving day by day while telling myself this is living.