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The Blame Culture

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jawa, Mar 15, 2007.

  1. Jawa

    Jawa Guest

    OK, this is a rant - but I really need to say this.

    I am currently on a GCSE Psychology course, we were assigned to groups of three with people in our class to collect data and do a unit of coursework together, and were given 6 weeks to do it. On the day we were given the assignment I asked everyone in the group for phone numbers and E-Mail addresses so that we could contact each other to do the work.

    When I asked them for their numbers/E-Mail addresses they just ignored me and turned away. I tried three times and eventually gave up, but made sure they had my contact information. I tried to arrange times for us all to meet up to get the work done, but neither of them ever turned up.

    I told them in class we needed to split the work so that we all do our share - I would write the legal agreement and debriefing for participants of the experiment we were asked to do, the introduction, and outline of the experiment. The other two were asked to come up together with a list of 21 words on any subject that took their fancy. Then they were asked to write a 20 question survery regarding the experiment. (I composed the experiment so I did a major part of the work.)

    After asking them for a month they still hadn't done it, and they tried to blame me saying I didn't phone them. I was so pissed off, I'd done my work over a month ago and had tried to talk to them about the coursework at College (they would avoid me after lessons). And the teachers refused to get involved with the issue.

    On the day the coursework was due in they tried to blame it all one me - but I stood up for myself. The teacher said we had one week to do the whole peice of coursework - one week!

    They started fart-arsing around and trying to blame everything on me, demanding for the results that weren't there, refused to work, etc. I told them if they didn't get off their asses then I'd just go do the work without them and they wouldn't get the results. They waited one day before the coursework was due in before I snapped at them both and shouted. I went to the College computer room and carried on with the work, one of them started complaining and told me to "hurry up" because he wanted to go home and play his guitar. >_>

    I told them I was going to my lessons (I was already late because I had to print off that work) and when I got back after 2 hours they should have come up with a 20 question survey, with relavant questions to the investigation. I came back, and they'd done five questions that were totally irrellavent to the topic. I told them it was crap, to grow up and do the work properly. They said they didn't know what questions to ask (despite the fact I'd lent both of them a few books on how to write good surveys relavent to certain topics).

    The next day (today) I was sick from food poisoning, had a migraine during the night, and had been throwing up all morning. But I still made the effort to go in, despite how crap I was feeling and went to both of their houses to make sure they actually came in to do the work (they hadn't turned up for the meetings again). I found out that one of them had actually cheated and stole the data from someone else, leaving me and the one other person high and dry. I yelled at him and said "why didn't you do the work a month ago? Maybe you can go get results off of someone else, but you don't go f****** up someone's GCSE grade" (if you don't pass all your courses in the year you cannot go on to further education at this college, and this coursework makes up 50% of my final grade). He then responded "I've just been feeling a little stressed lately", he tried to play the sympathy card to make out that he was oh so miserable. I'm sorry, but I have suicidal tendencies, and have been diagnosed with major depression, insomnia, and OCD. And I still got the work done. >_>
    He then said to me "well this is how I do things, it's worked in the past before" I responded by saying
    "is that why you're on a GCSE resit course?" I then stormed off because I don't like being angry.

    Frantically I collected the data, making me miss my Chemistry lesson with my tutor (he helps me learn for next lesson, otherwise I get put on a Stage 2 {if you get a Stage 3 at the college it's their last step from kicking you out}. After going and pleading with the teacher, she said she's mailing off the coursework to the examination board at 12pm tommorrow, so if I saw her before then she'd take in the work. I had to eat my dinner on the bus on the way home, before I got back at 9 and had to work straight away. I'ts 2:25am now and the only reason I'm on here is because I feel like I'm about to implode. It's one of those times when killing yourself is just a really easy way out of all of this. ;_;

    I'm so sick of people trying to blame their problems on everyone else. I have problems, but I go about my way to deal with it. Sure everyone has differen't stressors in their life, but they shouldn't use them as an excuse to abuse others. I'm lazy, but when something important needs to be done I do it. I encounter so many people like this everyday it's ******* unbelievable, today when buying my dinner this woman with a buggy decided to ram it into anyone who didn't step off the pavement onto the road to let her take up the whole side of the pavement. I just stood there when she repeatedly rammed the buggy into me. She said "can't you just move?" I said to her
    "just because you're pushing a buggy doesn't mean you have the right to be an a*****e".

    Instead of blaming our own problems on others, and trying to shirk off our responsibilities to other people, why don't we just accept that we messed up - but actually make an effort to do something about it? Sure we may encounter problems in our lives, and I can understand people needing time to grieve. But at the end of they day everyone has to make a decision as whether to stop or do something about the situation.

    Bah, sorry for the rant, and sorry if it offended anyone. :mellow:
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You didn't offend me. I understand and sympathize with everything you said. We DO live in a 'blame' culture where everyone's a victim... which excuses him/her from having to take on any responsibility for his/her own life. Bah! Lazy irresponsible buggers, I say. I understand your rant and think you're quite justified in ranting. Hope it all works out for you in the end.

  3. Jawa

    Jawa Guest

    Thank-you, I really appreciate what you just said.

    I'm just taking a break form the work because I feel so crap right now.
  4. letdown

    letdown Guest

    I completely agree with a lot of what you say here, you put it very well! That bit about the buggy just frustrates and amuses me, good on you for just standing there, what on earth are some people thinking?!

    The bit I highlight is also something I should keep in mind. I think I'm way too soft sometimes, especially when it comes to my sister who doesn't see how she effects others at all and goes on a rampage lashing out at anyone (as much as I can see the reasons behind it, I can't get over how she can't see the effects she's having on others.) I suppose some people just don't get to the place to get help for themselves, or to be responsible for themselves and how they effect others? Or maybe they just can't feel the huge stress that you're under and can't relate to it? I don't know.

    It's pretty sad that people who are enthusiastic and want to get work done are surrounded by people who just don't care. My girlfriend has similar situations and it usually ends up in arguments and going to the person in charge of the project and complaining. I'm glad I'm going into a course that doesn't involve doing group stuff.

    Because as much as people may be suffering from depression like the person in your group- maybe he could have gone and got some support in the college, and let some tutors know, so to not stress out the people holding all the responsibility?

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd be at the end of my tether too. This grade that you're going to get isn't the be all and end all though of your life. It just seems like a huge problem at the moment but it will be over soon.

    Take care :hug:
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2007
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Offend? Heck no, I totally understand where you're coming from! I've been in your situation before, unfortunately it's the hard workers who end up with the lazy arses and they get taken advantage of. I'm glad you've stood your ground and you're not afraid to tell people when something irritates you - that's a very good quality. It's unfortunate however that these lazy arses haven't been listening and have been shrugging off what you've been saying.

    If you get on with your psychology teacher and if the people in your group are known trouble makers to your teachers maybe you can speak to your teacher on your own, in a lunch break or something to let them know how lazy they've been, I don't see why they should pass when YOU have put all the hard work in. It always surprises me that the people who do NOTHING all year always gets the highest grades!

    I hope things work out for you, and I know it's hard when it comes to coursework, about now coursework is due in but take time out for yourself. Working at 2am occasionally is ok but don't make a habit of it, especially when you have college the next morning.

    Good luck with your coursework! :hug:
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I agree on that for sure!! :thumbup: