The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by fromthatshow, May 18, 2009.

  1. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    That's what I've become. Everyone says not to do it, to come to them, but all you get is anger, and you become the boy who cried wolf.

    It will take every fiber of my being to keep from committing suicide sitting at home alone for the next few months, because I know I'll be at home alone. No friends or family that care.
    I have you guys but in a crisis all I do is threaten to do it and end up crying. I never follow through. If I do it I'm just going to have to do it and not tell anyone. Not talk to anyone. I can't come here before the thoughts anymore. I can't be the boy who cried wolf anymore. Everyone just ends up angry, and each time less and less care and attention is given to a crisis that is just as painful today as it was a year ago.
  2. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    people will distance themselves from their own feelings, which are often evoked by the feelings of others. They unwillingness to care is because they are afraid. You have enough guts to reach out, that makes you strong. Message me if you need an ear or a shoulder <3
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Who ends up angry, Spencer? I'm sure there are many more of us that are not angry, that are glad you're still here! We care about you and anger does not enter into the equation.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    So you have been here for over a year now. You have over 200 people here that consider themselves your friend. You have over 9000 posts most of which are ones of support for other members here. Are you trying to tell us that those same people are the ones getting angry at you? Are they angry hun or maybe just frustrated because they cant make you see the wonderful person you are as they see you.
    It's not crying wolf Spencer. It's getting urges and thoughts that you find yourself losing the strength to fight on your own. So you turn to the people that you know understand and can be supportive. It leaves you crying? Well I for one am glad that it leaves you crying rather succeeding in your plans. If you need to reach out 10 times a day good!! Better than sitting there letting the urges take over.
    Hun you are such a valuable member at SF and a truly wonderful person to be a friend to. You have helped so many here and when you need it back you are more than entitled to it. And you are going to receive it regardless of what you have to say about it. Simply because there are more of us that love you and care about you than those that will get angry. I'm here, my shoulders are big and well worn, my hands are outstretched and strong, I dont get angry easily (come on I have an 18, 16, 14 and 4 year old lol) and I dont want to see you struggling alone. Anytime, you know where to find me hun.
  5. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    spencer i luv you... stay safe huni :hug:
  6. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    I don't understand why people get angry at you when all you have done is help everyone else on here. I know you don't know me all that well, but I'm in chat alot and my email is on my profile page. Don't be afraid to contact me, I never judge, and help in any way I can. Even if it's only to listen. You know where I am and where everyone else on here is, I think I speak for us all when I say we are here to help you. Those who get angry, forget about them. I won't get angry, and I know for sure everyone else who posted here won't either as well as so many others.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i agree. i don't see you crying wolf, i mean, i know you're really anxious, and i can relate to that a lot so can appreciate how tiring and how suicidal that can make you feel.

    i say "i'm going to die i'm going to kill myself" when i feel like i am because it is that serious, and i do empathise with how you're feeling- the anger you're met when you're actually being vulnerable and showing someone how much you hurt can be really distressing and make you feel so much more alone.

    your life is serious. so are your cries saying you want to die. i can hear what you're saying about a long standing crisis. mine has lasted 2 months with some days feeling ok- and i feel similar to you that people don't really get how much you're hurting when you're struggling just a inch away from rock bottom for such a long period.

    look after yourself. i've seen someone very honest in his feelings and i enjoy reading your posts and listening to your thoughts here.
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    thanks for your replies guys :grouphug:

    I meant mostly met with anger from people in my life - parents, friends, etc.
    And I've always felt that I've gone beyond my limit here. That I've been at bottom so many times that it just wasn't worth making another post. But I know that I would tell another member to keep posting and that I would be there anytime they needed it, so I suppose I should expect the same.

    Thanks for putting things in perspective. I do look back at these posts and send pms from time to time so I really appreciate the support.
  9. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    And if you ever need a fresh ear... I'm happy to listen anytime you need someone to talk to! I am online a lot... and you can reach me on here via PM, email, or MSN anytime!! :hug:
  10. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    Yeah, man sometimes it does feel like that scene where the guy is stuck in an empty grave and can't climb out...

    But the world is still up there, and when you reach out, somebody will take your hand <3