The Bridge

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by frizziidizzle, Oct 21, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. I just got brought back from the police station, I went to do it, they got a negatiater it took her 3 hours to persuade me not to jump. They detained me under the Mental Health Act :dry: yet I told the psychiatrist, the crisis team and the GP everything, everyone said it would help?? Are you all completely mad?? Absorbed into some dream land that things could get better for me? I told them everything and they sent me home :mad:
    I should have jumped I so regret it, I should have just jumped. The negotiater, she lied. she said she would get me some help, she said she would do anything in her power to help. :eek:hmy::huh::sad::mad: Fuck it! Next time. Not second thoughts.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm so glad that you didn't jum Lou. Please don't try this again. :hug:
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That is so ridiculous. I cannot believe they did not get you more help. I am so sorry. :hug:
  4. cybermom

    cybermom New Member

    Lou, I know that you are hurting so much right now, and it angers me that they did not help you. I know that you don't believe that you deserve it, but please do not let THEIR failure validate that belief. You DO deserve the help so that you can see things can and do get better...I'm living proof. You and I have gone through a lot in a short time, kiddo...I just ask you to trust me and hang in there with me and all these here who support and care about you. Love you much {{{{lou}}}}...cybermom
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    sorry they didnt give the help they said but glad you didn't go thru with it :hug:
  6. Snowman

    Snowman Well-Known Member

    frizziidizzle :arms:
    :eek:hmy: !!
    I'm so glad you didn't jump.
    I also think it's ridiculous how they didn't give you more help. :dry:
    And no next time!! :nono:
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya Frizzii,

    I'm glad you didn't jump. I'm sorry to hear that the the "authorities" haven't helped you more yet. Give them a day or two to make some phone calls and see what programs/options are available to you. If you don't hear by tomorrow, call them and ask (even if it's to call and ask "again"...I know that can be annoying in itself, but it is the rusty wheel gets attended to. Be that rusty wheel with them if you have to and don't give up. Keep asking until you get the help they said they'd get for you).

    An idea for you for today. Wear your comfiest clothes. Sit wrapped up in blanket with a lovely cuppa hot tea/hot cocoa. Listen to music, read a book, sleep. If possible, try not to even "think". I suspect that all of yesterday's stress will make you tired and perhaps a bit shaky today. You deserve some quiet time now for yourself.

    Pop in here if you need to chat, or feel free to PM me. I hope the leftover tensions and anxieties from yesterday slowly start seeping out and you get to a calm place today. Please be safe, hun.


  8. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I'm really glad you didn't jump. I'm sorry that lady lied to you. :( I'm here if you need someone to talk to.:hug:
  9. rootedphoenix

    rootedphoenix Well-Known Member

    That's awful that they didn't follow through with what they said. :mad: :(

    I'm glad you're still here. :hug:
  10. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Sorry to here things are so bad for you at the moment and that you're not getting the help you need. It's shit when they lie to you like that. Glad you're still here though. Love and hugs. S.
  11. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i was up on a bridge last weekend.

    instead of climbing and jumping, i thought id try and climb the incline on the suspension bridge and leave it in gods hands.

    it was slippy but i think it wasnt meant to be, it was easily climbable but i was talked down by my wife.

    now i feel so guilty to put her through the pain and the family too. i spent 2 days in my sister inlaws house just curled up and sleeping until my mind came to its senses and the chemicals balanced out. just silence! peace and quiet and comfort is now essential.

    i dont know if i will go down that road again but ive a few scars to remind me. guilt mostly!

    anyway i know how you feel and im glad you are still with us. we have both been daft but have also learnt something new. people do care!!!

    take care and take it easy for a while.
  12. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    People always lie. Everyone lies.
    The negotiator was simply doing her job.

    Demand more help.
  13. Emo_kitty

    Emo_kitty Account Closed

    Am so sorry that she lied to you and you didnt get any help
    you are in my thoughts and prayers

  14. Alone613

    Alone613 Active Member

    The Authorities! HAH!!!! There has never been one single solitary thing that they did that did NOT make everything worse. They never even left things as they were! Always, it was worse.

    I knew EXACTLY what help they would give, so when I planned my death, I planned well. Of course am not going to get into how I did it, or even give a hint as to my methodology. I will only say that I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew exactly what to do, and I knew that I could count on being dead by a very specific time.

    I have one recollection of my friend screaming at me through the fog of death, "Why did you do this?!? How could you do this to me?!?" She was the only person over a twelve period time whose voice made it to my ears. It was only moments, she tells me, before the ambulance came and they found no heartbeat, no pulse, no breathing activity, and dilated pupils. I should have been dead beyond recovery several hours before. I was blissfully and totally unaware of my existence, unaware of pain, either emotional or physical, dead to myself as well as to the world.

    I should have pinned a paper that said, "Do not resuscitate" to my shirt. But they wouldn't have listened. THey never do. They don't stop to think that maybe a person who is trying to kill him/herself is doing it because the pain of being alive is far too great anymore to be able to carry. Death is a release. They just think that they know best, and anyone who attempts suicide HAS to be sick by definition: Sane people want to live and enjoy life. This person isn't enjoying life, obviously, and doesn't want to live, ergo, this person is insane and we can do what we want to do regardless of what he/she wants.

    Some hours later - I don't know how many - I awakened to the horror that I was alive. I was so much more than furious and horrified that I can't find a single word in any of the languages that I speak that describes the depth, width, and height of the fulminating anger I felt at being brought to life after I was already dead. Dead according to the ambulance drivers, to the doctors, the nurses, my friend, who is also a nurse. There was nothing but a black void of which I wasn't even aware until the doctors got a hook into me and slowly dragged me back to the world of people who belong here because they want to live.

    Once out of intensive care, a psychiatrist came to visit me. He commented that what I had done was so dangerous, so lethal, that I probably should be dead now, and did I realize that?

    If I hadn't been so incredibly angry that I was alive, I would have taken his head off. As it was, I looked at him, just not understanding how badly this guy just didn't get it!! "Of course I know it was dangerous enough to kill me! THAT was the idea of it!!!!!" He looked at me as if . . . well . . . as if I was nuts! He really did not understand the specialty in which he was working.

    I have never awakened one single day since that day, a bit under two-and-a-half years ago, and been glad that my life was sucked back into my body against my will. There are moments here and there when I'm with my grandchildren when I'm glad that I have them to punctuate the periods during which I am suicidal and depressed.

    The Law doesn't care. My almost ex-husband was terrorizing me, breaking into the house and doing all kinds of things. One time, my friend decided to call the police because one of the things he did was so outrageous that she just couldn't believe that the police wouldn't do something. To be succinct about it, the police didn't believe that a BIG hole drilled in the wall in the bathroom, directly between the mirror/medicine cabinet, and the vanity was done recently. They insisted that I just never noticed it there before. Right! I lived there for four years and used the same bathroom countless numbers of time every day, but I never noticed the big gaping hole there. And - every time I cleaned the top of the vanity, I completely overlooked the big pile of plaster dust. It wasn't so bad when they were just not believing me and my friend about the hole having appeared that day. It was when the police Amazon . . .oops! I mean police woman - looked at me and asked me point-blank and seriously, "Are you doing drugs?"

    Ultimately, their final "out" was, "This is a domestic problem." And I asked, "This guy walked out on me - deserted me - left this house almost two years ago. It isn't domestic anymore!!! It's a case of being stalked and terrorized!" So of course, she asked me if I was sure I wasn't doing drugs. B*^@h!

    I do wish that I would awaken one morning and feel just a little bit glad that I was brought back. Everything is just too miserable for that, though.:blub:
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Alone. Sorry to hear that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal, but I'm glad that you're still here. Did the doctors tell you how long you were clinically dead for? Also, was death just complete nothingness or did you have some awareness?
  16. What part of "TOTALLY UNAWARE" (quoting the OP) did you not get, Dave?? :dry:
  17. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Please don't hijack Fizzii's thread Dave with such a pointless question.

    I'm sorry about you being lied to Fiz, she was doing her job yes, but it's the stupid "NHS" who have really let you down. This is nothing personal, nor should you see it as a reason to try and do this again.

    Given what happened they have basicaly violated their duty of care to you by allowing you to leave while your still feeling like this. Please next time you feel this way, don't go near a bridge, go straight to A&E, go straight to reception and tell them whats going on, you should not be made to wait, your just as much an emergency as someone with a heart attack, accident or whatever. Call and ambulance even, just dial 999 like any other emergancy. Your life is in danger and you must do all you can to survive this.

    Don't hide your emotions, cry, scream if you feel like it, you need help and treatment ASAP. I'm disgusted at your situation and how you've been treated so far.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2008
  18. Pingu

    Pingu Well-Known Member

    Im glad ur still here lou, i was really worried about you..
    please dont do it again. You got my msn, so please talk to me if it is somthing.
  19. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Has anyone heard from Fiz since she posted this?
  20. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Lou (friizidizzle) was sectioned, I think after the bridge incident. Lexi posted a message about this in another forum.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.