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The bullet

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by El Mas, Jun 10, 2012.

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  1. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    I was soo close just now. All i had to do was squeeze. What kept me was the fact that had i pulled that trigger, it just would have been a pain in the ass for my family. So i just wanna get all my affairs in order so this can go smoothly for everyone i love. There's nothing here for me anymore. I dont think there ever was.

    IHMAWTD New Member

    I am sorry to hear that man.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Nothing will go smoothly there is not way for that to happen and your family they will never get over it i hope you reach out and get help ok
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are at that point in your mind where you think suicide is the only option. I am also sorry you came that close but am so glad you made the choice to live. Please continue to explore the options that are available to you. I hope you can remove suicide off of your options list. Talk to your family. Let them how you are feeling. They may be able to give you the support you need to help you feel better.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Re: The bullet was in the chamber

    Why do you think there's nothing here for you? Is there anything that you enjoy, anything that keeps you distracted from these thoughts and feelings? Please don't do it...your family will miss you, and we care about you here. You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Re: The bullet was in the chamber

    what's wrong El mas?
    there is nothing you can do that will make taking your life ''smooth'' for your family.
    it will be the worst rollercoaster of emotions ride they will ever endure..
    why do you think you're a pain in the a** for your family? :hug:
  7. Sweetrecital

    Sweetrecital Member

    Re: The bullet was in the chamber

    before you make any big decisions, go to the beach and watch the waves and eat an ice cream or something festive. i know you won't want to, but do it, no matter your age.
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Re: The bullet was in the chamber

    Getting your affairs in order will not make things any easier on your family or those you love. When a family loses someone like this, all the "affairs" mean nothing... the fact that there are issues and loose ends to tie up is absolutely meaningless in the numb stupor that we are left in. I know this... I lost my son in October 2010 to suicide. Let me share how it feels: Imagine that your arms and your legs are chopped off and all that is left is your torso. That is me. That is all that is left. I am miserable where once my life was great. That is what it has left me.

    Sit down with your family and seek out their help. Talk to them. Share your situation, they will much rather that and they WILL help you get through this.
  9. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    Re: The bullet was in the chamber

    I had opted not to use the gun yesterday cause it would have been a left a big mess. And why even use my gun. When i could leave it to my brother and he can sell it to get a little extra money.

    Whatever who gives a crap about all that. I got thru the night, and i dont feel as bad right now. I still feel like shit tho. I dont know how I'm going to make it through this week. You start laying out your plan in your head even if you dont wanna think about it. Work is gonna be tough, but it always helps to stay busy i guess. What sucks is that people always expect me to joke around and be funny. When all i wanna do is yell at em and tell them to leave me the fuck alone. Why the hell do i have to make the workday better? I'm the mother fucker who just had a loaded gun to his head!

    Thanks for the support. it means a lot to me.
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