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The burden is mine and mine alone.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A Solitary Soul, Aug 1, 2007.

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  1. I was born with a number of deformities. I have a bone deformity on my hands and feet along with Rhemotoid Arthritis attacking the joints, my feet are overpronated so bad that no surgery can correct them, and my fingers are already turning sidways...and I'm only 20 years old. I am slowly becoming crippled and by the time im 30 chances are I will no longer be able to use my hands properly, nor will I be able to walk. I also have a very bad skin inherited skin condition and I have to put perscription cream all over me just so that I don't wake up in the middle of the night broken out.

    I have almost white hair and my skin is very pale,

    As if that isn't bad enough..I also have a family history of depression. 2 people in my family have commited sucide, though I never knew them. My dad has had to have numerous sessions of Electro shock therapy and my mom is bipolar...I'm also an only child.

    The loneliness I feel consumes me, I'm 20 years old and though I try, since i'm introverted and very shy I have had very friends in my life, and since im ugly I have never had a girlfriend.. I feel so alone in this world.

    So even though we all have our own issues in life, try to count your blessings and just remember there is always someone out there worse off than you are (like me). :sad:
  2. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm sorry to hear this. I can't imagine the pain you're in... but you've come to the right place.

    I'm here if you need to talk.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun my msn is in my profile, at least I can offer you a chat and a friendly ear.

  4. Thank you and I have learned to cope with my disabilities, I know that if I didn't have them I would still be depressed... I just think it's sad people who take things for granted. (not saying that anyone here does that)
  5. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    I feel extremely sad as I am reading your thread. I can't imagine being in your situation cos if I were, I don't think I am still alive today. And no way I can imagine the kind of suffering you are going through everyday :cry:. I hope you are able to find some solace here I am not a good talker but I am willing to listen and share. You can PM or email me anytime you want to and I hope it will bring you a little comfort :hug:.
  6. I appreciate you'r concern for me and yes I would probably be dead if I actually had the courage to do anything :unsure:
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You have been dealt a lot of issues to deal with from birth. i am glad you have come to terms with your disability, but I am sure it still makes life a bit more difficult than for many others. I am sorry to hear you don't have any friends or someone to support you. You will find support here. Feel free to share with us. We have been through almost everything here. Take care. :hug:
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