Remember back to elementary school, when one of the kids in class would be leaning back on they're chair, and sometimes a kid would fall and smack his head on the desk behind? Right now...I'm that kid, just there's nothing behind me, as if I'm leaning on the edge of a mountain. I've been in this sort of "floating" state for a long time, so afraid of that last push where I would lose my balance and fall. The wind just pushed me backwards. I'm empty, and utterly useless. I'm alone, meaningless, and faulted. I can never seem to do anything right. I have no confidence. Just when I think things are looking up, something happens and sets me back. I try to get back on my feet, I try to pay my debts, and just when I plant a foot on the ground somebody kicks it out from under me. I want to disappear, just to get up and leave one day with no notice of anything. But no, you can't do that in this world. You have to pay your taxes, your dues, and if you don't then your scum, worth nothing. This world sickens me. There is no life anywhere anymore, this world is consumed by greed. Why even bother? Nobody gets anywhere, and we all die at the end anyway. Its like the people you see driving that are at one stop light next to you, then they floor it off the line and go 20mph over the limit...only to stop at the same stop light as you down the road. Sure some people are rich, some are poor. Some good looking, some not so much. So then I ask... when you look at somebody in a fancy suit...are they better than you? No, not at all. Then why the obsession with money? How can one live, if the essence that is life...is non-existent? I just don't see any point anymore.