The Challenge of Writing Suicide Notes

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Mar 14, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Tonight I am writing out some suicide notes. And I am finding it increasingly difficult. I am fairly distressed, but I do not want to put any blame on those who are going to receive the notes. I want them to understand, and know that this is my decision. As a result my notes are turning up very very short, when they should be longer.

    While I am pretty sure I am going to get in trouble for this, does anyone have any advice? I still have several notes to write and I do not want to place the blame on anyone but myself, and society. I have this problem, where the more I write the poorer my work. I would really appreciate any advice on how to let people know it is my fault things turned out like this.
     
  2. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Suicide notes can be very hard because they are essentially the last message you will ever send and the last thing you will ever say. For this reason, you need to make it meaningful. I suggest, like you have said, to write that this is nobodys fault but your own. Try not to be too dramatic, or write it at a time that you are overly emotional. Stick to the facts if you can, say what goes in your life, how it affects you, and why you feel that you can't keep on struggling (that's only if you can't keep on struggling).

    You can thank people if you like, apologize to anyone for things you need to apologize for, and convey your love for those that you care about. Try to keep it short if you can, you don't need 2 or 3 pages of emotional dialogue when you can write a few paragraphs stating your reasons. I recommend avoiding saying things like "I had no help" or "nobody cared about me" because that would be an insult to your loved ones. Say that you have thought about this for a long time, and it wasn't an impulsive decision, and that you are sure this is the right thing for you.

    On that note, if you are not sure this is right for you (emotions, depression and feelings aside) then don't go through with it. You will always have other options, and suicide is rarely the answer for a healthy individual like yourself. You can keep writing here, see a therapist or psychologist, or simply write out how you feel in private. I do the last one when I need to, and it is quite helpful. I hope you decide to live, and that you don't push yourself down this road. I am in no way encouraging you to kill yourself, and I hope you decide against suicide, as it will only make things worse for those around you (including SF). Keep in mind that you don't, and can't, know what is on the other side.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2010
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well like I said I am out of creative juice. I am kind of stuck on the why part. I cannot find a good mix of facts and being concise. I can write an auto biography detailing the points. Or I can write a sentence. Neither seems acceptable to me.

    Any advice on picking the right things to say?
     
  4. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    In that case, I suggest you write out what you want to say in full (on the computer), read through it and pick what you want to have included in your notes. If you feel confident enough, have someone else read through it for advice. I doubt you will find anybody here that will do this (as this forum is pro-life), but if you want to do this, you might as well do it right. I would help you myself, but I don't want to find out that you killed yourself and I played a part in it. I'm sure you understand. If you don't want other people to read your note while you are still here, I suggest searching on google for tips on writing the right note, or read some other peoples notes, which is easy to find.

    Like I said, despite my help, I don't want you to commit suicide. No one can stop you, but they can help to change your mind, which I think would be better than you ending your life prematurely. Have you tried the other options?
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well I am curious as to how someone who is close to me would react when I ask them to read my auto biography. Then pick out points for my suicide note. Kind of like an approach I take when programming. Make it work, now and optimize later.

    I am sorry if you feel I am dragging you into my suicide. I am just a terrible writer and always have been. I at least want these notes to look like I put some thought into them. I am afraid they will look like I just wrote them just to be polite.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    To be honest, I don't think anything you write will be 'right' to them.
     
  7. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    It's ok, I don't feel like I am being dragged into this. I am choosing to help you. The way I figure it, it's better to advise someone how to leave the right message instead of the wrong one (although I agree with Scum). I've never written a note myself, but I know it can be hard. Don't feel bad if you can't express yourself that well, there are lots of people who can't. You don't necessarily need to have someone close to you help you with the note/s, you can find someone online if you want. But beware, there are assholes out there who may not take your note seriously or give crappy advice. I think you would be the best judge on this, as you know how you feel and what you want to say.

    Read up on other people's notes (easy to do with a google search). You will probably find they are short and to the point, without much emotion and perhaps written in haste. This can be a good route (short and to the point), but will leave your loved ones confused if they weren't aware of what you are going through. If they know what you go through, you won't need to put much in your note other than your apologies and your reasons. I'm no expert on suicide notes, and I usually anticipate judgement, so I may not be the best person to ask about this. You probably know whether people will understand what you say or whether they will be confused.

    The most important thing is that the reader understands why you killed yourself, because this is the common question that leaves them struggling. If you can convey this, then you don't have much to worry about.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2010
  8. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    I have not written any notes. I have no loved ones and no one would be interested in anything I have to say in any case.
     
  9. cureless

    cureless Member


    Im too struggling to write an letter for my family and my love one. Do anyone can tell me which ways of commiting are the easier and peace ?
     
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    This is a pro-life forum so no one will tip share ways to do it. We can, however talk to you and support you if you want us to.
     
  11. cureless

    cureless Member

    Thx bro. I understand about this. This is not the 1st time im planning to commiting. But i had my problem repeats where im totally no cure. The feeling of pain sorrow me alots.
     
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe it might help you to make a thread about it and get some support for your specific issues? A lot of people come here feeling suicidal and can then see a glimpse of light which can help them carry on. I'm so sorry you feel there is nothing that can improve your situation, maybe we, as a frum, might be able to suggest things you have not yet tried.
     
  13. cureless

    cureless Member

    I did open thread about my problem. Im so scare. Honestly, even i get get thru this time, i cant stop myself from thinking the same things happen in future.
     
  14. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    the fact that you are not sure what or how to say it means that you have not yet convinced yourself it is the right decision, by the way, it's not. There is nothing you could say that would comfort anyone, including yourself.
     
  15. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am pretty sure I have convinced myself that I want to do it. Currently my reasons are all confused and disorganized. I am just looking for a method to get them down on paper in an understandable method.
     
  16. readytoctb

    readytoctb Account Closed

    I started working on mine today so I know what your going through. Originally I had not planned to write one because it would raise more questions than answers. I decided however since people kept interfering and wanting to give me a bunch of bs as to not killing myself that I would leave one, and let those with a guilty conscience feel it and those that didn't would understand. For me the most important part though was making it clear that it is my choice, my decision, no one else it to blame, or to feel they could have done something to prevent it.
     
  17. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    No matter what you write, people are going to feel responsible, guilty, ashamed, hurt, angry, sad, etc.... Your lousy not wont make them feel better about you being DEAD.

    Get over yourself.
     
  18. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    swimmergirl:Ah, gotcha so it is a futile effort. I should just leave everyone in the dark

    readytoctb:Well I guess in many ways leaving a note can incite more guilt than not leaving one.
     
  19. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    No, you should open up to people NOW while you are alive and let them in and say all the things you want to say to them NOW and stop leaving them in the dark NOW. When your dead, your words won't mean as much because you will be DEAD. Put your energy into reaching out to those people now, not into crafting the perfect note.
     
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    What will reaching them do now? Give me detrimental brands? Get me put in a psych ward? Cause stress to those who already have enough stress now? If I honestly thought opening up to anyone would do any good I might have actually considered it.

    But if I cannot reach people with a note how can I reach them with my voice?
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.