I have a feeling I know what the blotted out portions are, that dreaded recipe has been around and no it won't work without, it will just do horrible damage that'd suck, anyway almost all the ingredients are nigh impossible to get as they are all heavily regulated and not allowed to general consumer. Even to get a couple of the needed you have to be a coorporation or photo developer manufacturer before people will sell you one of the components. Also the government has changed one of the medicinal components into a different formula which is suicide proof, so it will be incredibly hard to find the old medicine version and have it still be within shelf life.
I'm looking into buddhism to bring me inner peace, maybe throw yourself into something like that.