The cost of living has outweighed its benefits

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jilllian, May 12, 2012.

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  1. jilllian

    jilllian New Member

    A month or so ago, my therapist told me "you've suffered long enough."
    This was meant to be a positive statement, as in "quit beating yourself up over xyz..."
    The distorted lens through which I saw this statement was "you've suffered long enough.. I wouldn't blame you if you ended it."

    I took a bottle of pills a couple of weeks ago. My first suicide attempt at age 42, and after being in bed for pretty much 3 straight years.
    I've been depressed since 1999. I'm surprised I'm still here.

    This morning I washed some pills down with a bottle of Nyquil.

    Seems like I can't even complete suicide right.

    I've read "The Noonday Demon" many years ago. A great book on depression. I know that sounds vague, but I just wanted to point out to myself and others here that "the surest way out of a depression is to hate it so much...."

    I used to feel good when thinking about that statement. But now I think it's stupid.

    I hate my life, and everyone in it.
  2. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    jillian, i really hope you see again here on this forum.
    whenever you read this message: how are you doing?

    give us more details about your depression please.
    are there any other factors that cause your emotional breakdown apart from depression?
    have you tried different kinds of anti-depressant meds over the years?

    feel free to talk to me anytime.
    *hugging you*
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