"The Coward's Way Out"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bleach, May 15, 2008.

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  1. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    forget it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey bleach, what's going on?
     
  3. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    I can't put into words exactly how I feel. Which is always frustrating to me.

    I've looked at it from every angle and can't figure out answers to any questions like these:

    * Why I should expect that change is possible if it has never happened
    * Why life is worth living, if change proves impossible
    * How/why I'm supposed to love myself for the simple fact that I'm stuck with myself. Does that not seem like a very unworthy reason?
    * How I can like who I am and also want to change who I am
    * Why life is inherently worth living at all, even a "good" life, since it is fleeting no matter who you are

    Among others.

    Questions that are either pointless or all-important depending on your perspective.

    Fuck. Maybe the key to happiness really is to be as thoughtless as possible.
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    those are great questions.

    i imagine there are multiple answers to them, depending on your mood. when i'm low i tend to think that change is not possible, but the facts are that all the evidence proves otherwise. it *is* possible to change, to recover, to reinvent ourselves.

    for myself, i couldn't think my way out of depression, at least at first. i had to start with 'action' -- walking, sleeping properly, proper diet, meds, scheduling things to do all day to keep busy. the more i thought, the worse i felt. it was like being in quicksand, you know, like when you struggle the sand just gets tighter and you sink even more. in a way, i had to stop thinking for a while (not forever) and just get on with basics. i didn't wait until i 'felt' like doing the things on my list, i just got on with them.

    once the depression lifted a little bit i started therapy so i could work on my thinking. so maybe you are right, be thoughtless for a short while, and then return to the questions once you feel a little better.
     
  5. Boratz

    Boratz Well-Known Member

    I can't put into words exactly how I feel. Which is always frustrating to me.

    For me this is exactly one of the best symptom of deppression.
    The main organ that is affected the most is the brain normal functions
    the paralyzing of the brain .It is mostly impossibe to fight ,that is why we are constantly exhausting. The brain is literaly is incapable to
    function prperly.Cognitive,analytica,motivation ,thinking et...

    In analogy its like an amputated leg,how can we walk when aour feet is not there.

    It is a very good expression of deppression is. The inability to think or to put in words how we feel.

    That is just a thought that I know , it is a constant battle. The ability of the brain to function is paralylyze. We need to be vigilant as when it is coming like with me ,yawning is one,when I have no appetite these are clues of the attack is coming. Yet sometimes it comes without a warning during when it gets to us when we are sleeping. or mundane tasks. And multi tasking.

    Does it make sense? From my psych
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2008
  6. Boratz

    Boratz Well-Known Member

    Try to play crossword puzzle. It stimulating to the brain or some sports that needs intense concentration. I tend to have racing thoughts but sometime when i am ezhausted physically it is a relief for me from all these thoughts.

    This is why I like tennis, it is intense. Baseball bores me. When I play it is not to score but to realease my frustration so the balls go all over the place when I hit them full force.

    Here in the US tennis is not popular like hockey its becoz it is very hard to follow the ball's direction. When there is a game the audience are very quiet otherwise you cannot appreciate the intensity of the game compare the rowdiness of other sprts
     
  7. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Perhaps you're right... I'm too logical, I suppose. It frustrates me to act before thinking, although I realize that frame of mind has caused me a lot of trouble.
     
  8. theothermask

    theothermask Member

    thats right. i know im thinking too much and it has pushed me into deep .. shit, lets leave it that way. Problem is that if you have gone too deep in this, it is really hard to start pulling urself out. Its like me. I just cant do a simple thing because before i start it i already think how i will do it and afterwards that this thing is worthless anway. Now im trying to believe to god, hoping it will help me escape the traps of my own mind. I dont know if it will help, i still dont feel much relief.. maybe i must wait.
     
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