I'm not sure why I'm here still. I am alone, I am a failure, and I have no motivation left to fix it all. I used to be a very strong person who fought through all obstacles in the past and actually did quite well for myself in some parts of my life (education, career), but my personal life has gone to hell, including disassociating myself from my parents. And I still think that was a good move and they continued to tell me I have failed them (because I'm not married) and make me feel worse. My friends have their own lives and will forget about me until I call. My few closer friends know I'm very depressed and it's my nature to help people when they have issues, so I guess I feel it more when others are not like this. I have no one I can really trust and lean on. I'm getting older, lonelier and less motivated to do anything, so why am I here still? The only thing I can think of is that I was working on some goals (business-related) and wanted to achieve those first, but I have very little motivation to work on those anymore. Somehow I also feel an obligation to customers who are waiting on things that I'm doing for them but why can't I just refund their deposits, etc and go? Is it because I don't want people to say that I failed? WTF is wrong with me? I have all the means necessary to instantly leave whenever I want, but not sure what's keeping me here. I don't even expect an answer from any of you, and think I'm just writing this to get my feelings out, which usually gives me some temporarily relief. I am not sure what to do anymore. It's the same crap day in and day out. Yada yada yada.