The Cycle Repeats

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by SelfDestruction, Jun 3, 2015.

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  1. SelfDestruction

    SelfDestruction New Member

    Before I start I want to appologise if this is posted in an incorrect forum, I'm new here so I did the best I could in choosing which forum this would fit.

    Anyways, I am a recent high school graduate, as in two weeks ago. My junior and senior years have been the roughest on me mentally and emotionally. My depression went from very minor to suicidal. One of the ways I was able to cope with that was making a new friend, a girl let's call J. Her and I ended up in a relationship that really made me happy but it ended soon after and we now never speak anymore. That only made things worse.

    The thing I need to make up my mind on is I have another friend, we can call her B, who is a year younger than I am, but her and I have been really good friends since middle school. Recently B and I have grown closer and I am starting to have feelings for her and want to start a relationship. So I have started flirting and all that good stuff. We call each other things like darling and sweetheart. We hang out and cuddle and watch movies and stuff together.

    B tends to be a bit flirty in general, nothing like cuddling or kissing every guy she meets, but somewhat flirty, like hugs and stuff. And truth be told I'm not an attractive guy, I'm overweight, not much of a looker. But she knows that I'm a nice guy and everything. But I want to ask her out but I don't know if she is flirting with me to flirt, or just cause she tends to be kinda flirty. Hell, I don't even know how to ask her out. My last relationship wasn't anything like a regular relationship, we just kinda both one night said, hey let's be a couple and we were. So I don't have any experience in any of this.

    TL;DR I like my best friend and want to ask her out, but I'm afraid of rejection and ending up suicidal and in a deep dark place I don't want to be.

    I am not over my depression but it gets slightly better over time, I just don't want to be burned and revert back to suicide as my go to thing.

    Again, sorry if this is in the wrong forum, and thank you to anyone who replies, I appreciate it quite a bit.
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome :)

    I don't think I'm the best person to listen to when it comes to relationships but I'll add my two cents anyway. What do you value more? B's friendship or taking the risk and seeing if she would go out with you? You and B seem very close and you have been good friends for some time. You get on really well, flirt with each other, but I don't know if that is because like you said she is a bit flirty in general? Regardless, I think you are both very fond of each other. It really comes down to what you think is best for you. If you feel that rejection would lead to a different or lost friendship in her, and lead you to being in a dark/suicidal place, I'd strongly advise against it. I would like to think that you would remain good friends if she said no, but who knows, it could really end up in a 100 different ways. I think it is important to look after yourself first and if you feel you could be hurt badly by asking her out, then I'd say don't do it just yet. I don't know, maybe carry on flirting and throw hints that you would like something more than just a friendship?

    Really at the end of the day I think it comes down to, can you handle her rejection (if it did happen) and what would it do to you? Because if you feel it will put you in a deep dark place and make you suicidal, it's not something you should risk. Anyway, I wish you luck and if you do decide to ask her out, I very much hope she says yes.

    Take care and good luck to you :hug:
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