the cycle

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by jenn, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. jenn

    jenn Member

    Today I've decided I've had enough
    Life is getting far too tough
    I've sat for days and cried and cried
    It be much easier if i died

    I take the pills I take the drink
    BUt pause for a moment to sit and think
    The Ifs the buts the how and whys
    Suddenly tears they form in my eyes
    I take the pills 1 by 1
    untill finally there are none

    I feel sick I feel quezy
    Things are bad my brain feels hazy
    Am I sane or going crazy
    These simple questions aint so easy

    I begin to fret and slowly regret
    Maybe there is still hope for me yet
    If I'm more dtermined, a bit more stronger
    Maybe I could hang on a bit longer

    So I go to hospital for a night or 2
    Everyones asking whats up with you
    they give you sad looks and sympathetic smiles
    when really they want to run for miles

    I get back out and wanna shout
    Tell everone what its all about
    Tell them where it all went wrong
    And why I couldnt be so strong
    but I know they all say I'm wrong

    We know you can do it you've been doing it for years
    these aren't the words that I wanna hear
    they don't understand I live in constant fear
    I fear of what I know they'll ask
    but answering that is no easy task
    Is it me, her, him, or them
    where does all my trouble stem?

    For a while I'm stronger and glad I'm not dead
    Trying to do things for me instead
    I try so hard to do everything right
    and when things go wrong
    I put up a fight
    I fight for who
    not me I know
    Its for other people I put on the show

    I don't want people to know whats went on
    I'm scared they'll say its me whos wrong
    So I try and pretend I'm coping and strong

    This is the way the cycle goes
    How long will it go on
    God only Knows
    but i'll keep trying and trying
    Hopefully I'll break it instead of dying.
  2. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Great poem, and I hope you are able to break the cycle soon :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    awesome poem jenn :arms:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Well written the struggle one faces the fight to continue on. I hope you can stay strong until you are able to break free of the cycle and create a new path of hope and happiness for yourself. take care mary
  5. johnson8681

    johnson8681 Well-Known Member

    I can relate with this poem thanx for sharing I loved it.
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