I really fucking hate life. I just cannot get myself under control. Every time I start to think I am better I realize I am just damming up my emotions. Seriously, I have been ok for the past few weeks. I have had a lot on my mind. New video games, working out, anime, and most recently a web manga me and one of my 3 friends is going to start. This has kept me relatively content with existence for the past few weeks. However, like always I was just damming up my emotions and true feelings. And guess what the dam broke. I really hate this dam, it always blocks the view of real life. It always makes things impossible to see. The truth is never seen when I have a dam up. And then when it breaks the truth is all to apparent. The worthless shell of a human that I am. And now I ask myself why do I go on? I cannot make my friends happy, I cannot keep myself happy. I cannot love life I cannot do anything right. I just want to die. Or I want the dam to last forever. Does anyone know how I can dam up these feelings forever? How can I build an emotional damn that won't break? Please anyone?