Dying seems like a good idea. I just can't shake these thoughts of suicide. The pain is endless. My life is like playing a video game where you've irrevocably screwed up, and the only thing to do next is to hit the reset button, start over, and try again, except that there's no reset button. And this isn't a video game, this is my real life. My nightmares are preferable to reality. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness are unbearable. Not to mention the fact that I am ashamed even to admit that I'm lonely. Everything, just everything seems so utterly hopeless. How am I supposed to create a life for myself? I'm not good-looking, I'm not rich, I'm not outgoing, and I don't have a great personality. Most people probably think I'm boring. It's not my fault that my interests are esoteric. I'm just being myself. I seem to be cursed to a lifetime of loneliness, isolation, and desolation. I do not think I am meant for this world. People who have at least one of the traits that I am missing above can thrive; those that do not are at best consigned to the charity and pity of others, and even that can only go so far. For in the end, only I am in charge of running my life, and if my own will to live dissipates, so does life. I don't know what else to say. Thank you for reading.