The Dark Curse of Loneliness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gsp, Jan 23, 2015.

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  1. gsp

    gsp Member

    Dying seems like a good idea. I just can't shake these thoughts of suicide. The pain is endless. My life is like playing a video game where you've irrevocably screwed up, and the only thing to do next is to hit the reset button, start over, and try again, except that there's no reset button. And this isn't a video game, this is my real life. My nightmares are preferable to reality.

    The feelings of emptiness and loneliness are unbearable. Not to mention the fact that I am ashamed even to admit that I'm lonely. Everything, just everything seems so utterly hopeless. How am I supposed to create a life for myself? I'm not good-looking, I'm not rich, I'm not outgoing, and I don't have a great personality. Most people probably think I'm boring. It's not my fault that my interests are esoteric. I'm just being myself. I seem to be cursed to a lifetime of loneliness, isolation, and desolation.

    I do not think I am meant for this world. People who have at least one of the traits that I am missing above can thrive; those that do not are at best consigned to the charity and pity of others, and even that can only go so far. For in the end, only I am in charge of running my life, and if my own will to live dissipates, so does life.

    I don't know what else to say. Thank you for reading.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello, in my opinion everyone is good at something,everyone. You must have some hobbies or interests.Even you writing here is a productive way of moving forward, you made a step of moving forward and that you can do.

    As of yesterday I am depression free, thanks to counseling and medications. If I can do it, anyone can. I was a complete hermit,recluse, refused to leave the house for years. Now I am planning a future, have an appointment for cbt next week (I still suffer other illnesses)

    Dying is never an option or solution because depression is a curable illness. Keep talking to us and keep aiming high, you can do this, you can get through this awful patch in your life. I wish you all the best.
     
  3. paulina

    paulina New Member

    You do not seem do be boring like all this stupid people around me.
    Eh, this world is just cruel.
     
  4. ub3

    ub3 Banned Member

    :monalisa:Wow! For starters very few people are able to describe what you so eloquently did! Not that I get any pleasure from reading your utter misery but it gave me some releif to think yes someone feels like me! :surprise:Im not alone! If everything you say is true i really dont know? :tsk:We tend to smash ourselves to peices and discredit any of our strength and talents...One thing I know for certain! You have a natrual ability to write profond thought provoking material! As an allie I suggest you explore this amazing gift! If you cant do it for you... do it for all the people you are going to help! That is an immediate purpose and possibillity!
     
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