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The decision has been made

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xyang410, Mar 12, 2014.

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  1. xyang410

    xyang410 New Member

    This is not a post asking for help, this is just something I want to say out loud so I would feel better. So I've made the decision to end my life, everything has been planned out, I'm just tired of the way I'm living, I can't see any good potential for me in the future. I'm going to end my life next week during spring break when my roommates are gone and kill myself in my dorm. I don't want to talk to my friends, they will just tell me don't do it or think positive, so I chose here, maybe I can get some useful responds.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu cannot see in the future so no use trying ok You just take each day and get through it You have support at your school use them the councilors talk to a teacher
    No one can take your chose away but at least try to reach out to get some help who knows what that help and support will bring you
  3. Dixie.Lee

    Dixie.Lee New Member

    I aM so sorry for your pain. So many people do not understand that mental pain, while "invisible", is one of the worst pains there is. Age, gender, occupation, none of these things matter. Depression is everywhere. When I feel this way, and it comes more and more often, I try to wait 3 days to see if it passes. So far that has worked, but having one good day in three doesn't seem like a great life either. If anyone else has any coping skills to offer I would hope they can put them on here. And maybe you can wait, things change so quickly sometimes, you never know what is around the corner.
  4. PinkiePieInTheSky

    PinkiePieInTheSky Well-Known Member

    Keep talking. Dump out everything to somebody, either on here or in real life.

    If you do it in real life, point blank tell the person that all you want is for them to listen to you, and you don't want any help.
  5. 9426

    9426 Member

    Well, if you're not even going to listen to your friends, then you're not goin to listen to random people here. I wish I had a plan like you do. People have been telling me that life gets better since 2010. Well, it's now 2014 and life's only gotten worse. The only reason I haven't killed myself already is because I'm so drugged up on sleeping pills and anti depressants that doctor's give me that I'm either sleeping half the day or high off the pills.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Please do not do this.Do you have family? you could talk to them. while you have said you have made the decision, just my opinion...the fact you posted here states to me that you want and need help. Doctors,psychiatrists,psychologists can help you,please reach out and get the help.
  7. LastChoice

    LastChoice Member

    If you already know that your friends would talk you out of it then you know they really care. I have found that most people really don't care because they don't think you would actually go through with it. Truth be told, you will always find at least one person that really does care. Think of what it would take to turn your life around in a positive manner. It could be anything like coming up with a workout routine and going to the gym or going to a cheap movie once a week. Something to really look forward to that would make everything flow. Once you come up with a plan, then go to your friends and see if one of them would be interested in your new plan. Search until you find at least one person that would be interested. That way you don't come off suicidal and go through all the drama that sometimes brings. You can do it. Plan and attack against your suicidal feelings. Some people really do care even more than just words. You will find your truest of friends during these moments.
  8. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    I would tell you the same thing as your friends, it's clear your on a mission, if you wont listen to your friends why would you listen to me?
  9. Molii

    Molii Member

    I wanna end my life too
    I know how U feel, I've never told anyone about the way I feel
    every time I decide to commit suicide I remember my dad, I don't want him to suffer
    I don't think you want ur family to suffer and live in pain
    try to hold on, Please :)
  10. seila

    seila New Member

    i used to have a one week rule or more that usually worked too, but as of now im pretty sure that if i was to not to kill myself that rule would have to be extended for indeterminate time. the thing i try to do is think about my parents. i know how they did react when they lost their first child. They are still alive and here, but one can only assume losing another in the same way would have probably worse effects on them...so thats it, im not saying that when im crazy to kill myself i picture their suffering...that happens only when i calm down but so far it has worked.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2014
  11. xyang410

    xyang410 New Member

    Okay, so I did try to end my life in March. But the campus police some how found out and stopped me sent me to the hospital. After I got out of hospital I withdrew all my classes from school and go home to take a break. But my parents still giving me a lot of pressure, and blaming me cause I caused trouble for attempting suicide. We just can't talk to each other, they kicked me out of the house and took me off everything they are paying for me. I was homeless for a month, good thing I have some money left and a part time job, I found an apartment, bought myself an used car just to get around the town easier. But just recently I just received the bill from the hospital, it's about 10k without the insurance, cause my parents took me off everything. I'm pretty much screwed, I have no one to live for now. You guys are telling me to think about my parents, but they are the one that put me in this situation, and they won't give a shit about how I am doing now.
    I'm feeling so hopeless now, this is not the life I ever wanted.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2014
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No one can take money from you that you do not have hun you were under your parents care at the time so they are responsible for your bills
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