The Demon's Duel [Triggering]

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Wysteria Blue, Jan 5, 2013.

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  1. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    The Demon Duel

    They meet again…eye to eye in the silvered reflection.
    Red versus green in a steamy room is filled with tension.
    The weapons are prepared, the duel will soon begin.
    Will the mind overcome, or will the demon’s heart, win again?

    Though played out on the tiles of misty sins and regrets,
    The players anxious, there is little time still left.
    Logic is soon losing to bristling fear and frustrations.
    This duel is not with guns, but blades and medications.

    It is a ritual, more sacred than most would ever know,
    the preparations meticulous, planned and slow,
    For now I must be ready to fulfill my oath today.
    the need and longing are too great to fail or to delay.

    Why am I here? a silent sob my lips will not cry.
    Why do I have so much despair and desolation inside?
    I struggle, I mewl, if only there were some other way,
    to ease this horrid despair inside..some hope to make me stay.

    In my world of incessant chatter and a mind always awhirl.
    My mind goes suddenly quiet …there are no more cruel words,
    I have already lost the battle now, and its end is very near,
    I have given in to my addiction, and the false promise of no fear,

    Not a game at all to me, harm or death the final sentence,
    I stare back into empty eyes… with cool measured indifference.
    I must release this demon’s hold, it has upon my soul..
    The only way out for me, will be the pills or weapons cold..

    My eyes stare dully back at me for I really do not see,
    There is no longer I or Me to reason with, or stop what will be,
    I am long gone to a place of hazy indifference and strange calm,
    a place where hopeful dreams, just no longer can belong.

    The first shots are fired and the sink begins to roar,
    The waterfall is changing and has its little crimson shores,
    It is my fear and heartache that I begin to wash away,
    The loud voices and memories will finally fade today.

    For relief is sweet but short-lived, as my mind comes back to me,
    Mine enemy is not vanquished, just quiet for awhile you see.
    The battle is over, no need for seconds tonight….
    I put the blade aside and tears begin to blur my sight,

    The doctors and nurses are not needed, nor will they ever know,
    I can handle this for now, with secret bandages that never show.
    Hidden under my watch the horrid scars of battles past,
    One more will not matter, even though they will always last.

    I wish sometimes I had the nerve to just end it all for good,
    To take the whole bottle of pills or end up on the hood.
    Someone else’s faith in me, or just his faith in God,
    The only way I can still avoid a brutal end to my self-inflicted jihad.

    This battle is so private and not for you to see,
    This duel at dusk…in my private reverie.
    The glass is wiped; my eyes reflect the inner pain,
    I have to look away in shame,
    for I’ll live to fight this demon, once again.

    - mpk 01.05.2013
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Yes, I fight the battle too. I can totally relate. A good analogy told very well.
  3. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    thanks Pit for the reply.sorry you have to fight it too..
    Hope we both find some peace soon...
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ihope one day we all get the the help we need to fight the demon and win for a change
    YOur words are so poetic there is so much beauty in your soul hugs
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