I'm sitting alone in the bar. I look preoccupied but in reality all I wish is for one fucking person to come and talk to me in a friendly way. I'm looking at this 3rd bottle of budweiser and I imagine having to die when I finish it. I wish I had a friend in this fucking world. The pointless fights got to me. It doesn't matter that for a moment I felt I'm getting better. I became a complete loner. I talk to myself cause I have no one and still I appear to be a completely different type of person. I hope I die tonight because I have nowhere to go and nothing left to do. Because people are shit, most of them. Not really, probably just me. I wish I could save a person at least before I go but I don't know anyone anymore. I wasn't affraid of anything, only life. I'm drowning in all this. I'm so tired of being so tired. I stopped caring and I'm going slightly mad and no one in this world knows me. I wish my old friends knew I'm sorry, I wish my grandparents knew I love them, I wish my brother knew it can be much better for him and to remember me as who I was when I was there, I wish mom knew I love her and she was great, I wish stepdad knew he was a dad to me, I wish the one before knew he was to, I wish my dad knew everything is ok now, I wish my aunt knew she's awesome, I wish my cousin knew to be better, I wish my "partner" knew I don't care about him anymore and I won't be thinking of him when I leave.