the distant goodbye

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MorganaNever, Mar 15, 2012.

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  1. MorganaNever

    MorganaNever Well-Known Member

    I'm sitting alone in the bar. I look preoccupied but in reality all I wish is for one fucking person to come and talk to me in a friendly way.

    I'm looking at this 3rd bottle of budweiser and I imagine having to die when I finish it. I wish I had a friend in this fucking world.

    The pointless fights got to me. It doesn't matter that for a moment I felt I'm getting better. I became a complete loner. I talk to myself cause I have no one and still I appear to be a completely different type of person.

    I hope I die tonight because I have nowhere to go and nothing left to do. Because people are shit, most of them. Not really, probably just me. I wish I could save a person at least before I go but I don't know anyone anymore.

    I wasn't affraid of anything, only life.
    I'm drowning in all this. I'm so tired of being so tired. I stopped caring and I'm going slightly mad and no one in this world knows me.

    I wish my old friends knew I'm sorry, I wish my grandparents knew I love them, I wish my brother knew it can be much better for him and to remember me as who I was when I was there, I wish mom knew I love her and she was great, I wish stepdad knew he was a dad to me, I wish the one before knew he was to, I wish my dad knew everything is ok now, I wish my aunt knew she's awesome, I wish my cousin knew to be better, I wish my "partner" knew I don't care about him anymore and I won't be thinking of him when I leave.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Hey there. Loneliness is a terrible feeling for sure. We all go through this and it is normal. You wouldn't believe how many people feel just like you do. Just look around. Almost everyone here goes through it. Heck even I feel isolated at times. For different reasons, but it is very similar I can assure you. I could always use a friend. My belief is like that saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed. Pm me if you are interested. Until them hang in there. ((hug))
  3. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I know about that all too much, going to the bar by myself was all I ever did. The alcohol just made everything worse, got arrested, DWI, license revoked; I had to learn the hard way. Hopefully you won't have to go through all of that to stop drinking.
  4. Descendant

    Descendant Account Closed

    Hi Cortez, if you're trying to meet people you should give Craigslist a shot. I'm a very shy person so being able to connect with someone without having to meet them in person makes things a lot easier and if you find that you have something in common you can always meet up in a public place, or if not you can end the conversation with no hard feelings. I've met some (albeit few) really great people from CL this way and I actually think it's a lot easier than milling around and waiting for someone to randomly approach you or trying to small talk in person.

    It's not perfect - you still have to wade through crowds of idiots before you finally find someone who you relate with enough to really get to know - but it's better than going to the bar and very rewarding once you do find someone.
  5. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    lol I actually just put in and ad there a couple of days ago, saying I was looking for friends and what not and not a single person has responded yet, maybe it seemed a bit too depressing.
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