I can't stop drinking. I have tried, and i have tried. In fact, the more I say to myself, "No more booze", the harder I drink. It used to be fun in college, now it's gotten embarrassing and dangerous. I black out, feel sick if I stick to "just a few" and even get more sick if I don't get drunk often. Hangovers are getting horrifying. I feel hyper-anxious, I sweat out of my hands, can't say a word and I experience recurrent paranoias caused by having no knowledge of what I might have done the previous night. Whenever I get that heaven-sent first drink, I have to be extra-careful not to spill as my hands shake visibly. I know I can stop. But, at the same time, what for? My life has been one disillusionment after another.