This is not my poem, but I read it today and I wanted to share it with people. It's about grief over death, but I think it can speak for a lot of different situations. Half a year ago, my husband and I lost the third in our relationship. It was and still is hard to live with, but the worst thing is the silence. Because of the nature of the relationship, it was and remains nearly impossible to discuss it with anyone in my life aside from my therapist and my husband. Even the few friends we had that knew about the arrangement refuse to talk about it, out of embarassment or a sense of "Well, you still have each other, so what's the big deal?" or even just an inability to figure out what to say, I guess. This poem near perfectly describes how I feel about it now. I don't know if it would make the pain less if people could just talk about the elephant in the room, but maybe it would make it easier to deal with. The Elephant in the Room by Terry Kettering There is an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, So it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with "How are you?" and "I'm fine," And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather; We talk about work; We talk about everythign else --- Except the elephant in the room. There is an elephant in the room. We all know it is there. We are thinking about the elephant As we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very big elephant. It has hurt us all, but we do not talk about The elephant in the room. Oh, please, say her name. Oh, please, say "Barbara" again. Oh, please, let's talk about The elephant in the room. For if we talk about her death, Perhaps we can talk about her life. Can I say "Barbera" to you And not have you look away? For if I cannot Then you are leaving me alone In a room --- with an elephant.