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The end of the line

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Endoftheline, Apr 7, 2010.

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  1. Endoftheline

    Endoftheline Member

    I feel like dying but I am to afraid of the pain I will have to endure to die. I'm 19 years old and my life is pretty much screwed. I wish I wasn't born. I got kicked out of high school in grade 10 for skipping with my friends all the time and that's pretty much when my life went downhill. I lost all my friends after that and I've been sitting around my parents house for 2-3 years doing nothing now. I tried to make friends by going out to clubs etc but I just became more miserable.

    To top things off I am really really ugly and have bad teeth which I can't have fixed because I have no money to do it and my family is to poor. I'm also underweight and eat like 1 meal a day because I have no money for food too. It sucks.

    Recently I thought about joining the military. I thought it would give me some sort of I don't know.. A calling? A reason to live. It would have given me a job so I wouldn't be poor and I would make some friends and be proud of what I was doing. But then I found out I have arthritis of the spine, so I can't join. If there's a god he sure does hate me.

    I'm also watching both of my parents die off because they are so sick. I'm so lost and I'm even in physical pain because I can't afford to have my wisdom teeth taken out.

    It feels like this is the end of the line...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are in so much pain. You are only 19 yrs old you have lots of time to get an education night courses online courses still can get an education without going to highschool. that way your life will get better get a better job etc. look into getting an education through government grants and initiatives.
    they are out there. I know you feel this is like the end but it is just the beginning for you so reach out and get help If you are depressed call your doctor and get help and get back in school be it night courses adult courses online courses but do it. quit sitting around okay take charge of your life.
  3. Jami e

    Jami e Member

    Things are extremely hard for everyone, there is no doubt about that. Life is never easy and things happen for a reason, The best thing in your case is to isn't to give up but try harder, If you can get through since you started feeling miserable and sad, then you have the strength to Carry one. It feels like your at a end of a tunnel and the light has stopped working, just walking along a dark path. I know your in pain and i understand you I'm 16 And my mum passed away and I'm missing her so much right now and I'm not sure why of all times?! but Pull through and you will look back on this day and be amazed at the courage you truely have.

    Take care of yourselve, Jamie.
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you have learned at least 1 valuable lesson. "friends" arent all that great. they werent your friends and i doubt any of the ones that skipped with you will help you now. give things a few more years and get your GED.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I agree that getting a GED and moving on would help a lot...so sorry you are feeling so awful, but also glad you found us...welcome and please continue to tell us what is going on for you...big hugs, J
  6. Jami e

    Jami e Member

    Kind words from us all and please let us know how your feeling soon :) Take care friend.
  7. Endoftheline

    Endoftheline Member

    Went to see one of my sisters friends who is a dentist and he says I will probably need dentures... I'm so young. I can't do this anymore....
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    you have a plus because you are so young...your life is just beginning...
    sounds like you don't like the idea of dentures or is it the cost ?
    seeing the dentist was a good idea...you are trying to help yourself and that is a huge start....
    I didn't get braces till I was 28....so there is hope for you to get your teeth fixed...
    keep fighting those negative thoughts and keep fighting...
    take care...
  9. Endoftheline

    Endoftheline Member

    Having to get dentures terrifies me. I want my teeth fixed, I do not want fake ones. :badday: My life sucks...
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