What do you do when your at the end. What do you do when all day you think about how to kill yourself. What do you do when you have nothing or no one to live for. What do you do when your sat in your room in the dark day after day. What do you do when you sit here so close to killing yourself. I cut myself off from everyone. I loose everyone that ever meant anything to me. I don't open up to anyone. See the thing is when you open up to people you just get get hurt. Your ripped to pieces. I'm asked to sit back and be hurt. Your asked to act like your fine with it. Your asked to be happy about it. I am happy for you but don't expect me to be able to sit their and watch. I'm made to feel like what i feel doesn't matter. You don't give a shit. You don't care in the slightest how i feel or what this does to me. You of all people should know what that feels like. I'm sick of feeling in the way. It hurts. I can't hurt no more. Theres one kind of hurt i can handle and thats phsyical. The hurt i'm going to feel before i die. I'm sat in my room. Shaking. I have so many things in this room that could kill me right now plus i have a lock on my door which will give me a bit of time. I can't do this no more. I just can't. I held on for so long for one reason. I have no reason anymore. Mim & Sarah, i'll be with you soon. I promise you. I love you both so much. I'll see you soon.