My hesitation is fading. I'm very suicidal lately, for the first time in a long time. I've been weening off my meds, and drinking a lot to ease through it. It's a dangerous combination for me. I've dealt with alcoholism in the past. I don't know what to do. Soon I'll turn off completely, and there will be no more words for me, only blank, empty.. I smell the stink of death coming for me. I can't stop it anymore, it compels me. Help.