The End

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by darcy99, May 3, 2015.

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  1. darcy99

    darcy99 Member

    Hello~ I am sorry I keep posting I just really feel like killing myself right now. I feel okay during the day but at night I can't take it anymore. I don't want to live like this where each night I have to fight to keep from killing myself. I am very tired. I am so tired. I can't fight anymore. Please, I am so sorry I really need help. I know part of it is I have been drinking but I don't feel like I can stop that either. I am so desperate. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Again, I am so sorry as this is my fault and my fault alone I just can't take anymore. Thank You.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Dary,

    Never feel sorry for posting, that is what this site is here for. Nights are usually worse for me too, but im not depressed but I was for years, it's best to try and get into a regular sleep pattern and sleep through the night as the thoughts will bother you when you're alone all night. I just want you to know YOU CAN get through this very difficult time. I think you should keep talking to us, get professional help and things will fall into place. Don't let this eat you up. You can get through it.
  3. darcy99

    darcy99 Member

    Petal, thank you for your response and encouragement. I am and will continue to do my best to take it day by day. And you are right, if I could sleep through the night it would help as that is when my mind is racing with negative thoughts that is really hard to control. Thanks again for your encouragement.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You are very welcome. I hope things get better for you and soon, if you ever need to talk just drop me a PM :)
  5. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    Hi Darcy,

    Life can be painful, that's for certain, but I feel like it's really easy for people to overlook the things they enjoy when they're faced with depression. It's a big world, and there's a lot to experience; you might find something you're passionate about. Even if you feel overwhelmed by sorrow right now, maybe in a couple years it'll be different, y'know? As long as you're alive, there's the potential for something good to happen to you. The future's unwritten, it might get better, it might go downhill even more, but if you pull the plug on your life right now, then you'll never even have a chance at happiness. People will definitely miss you too, even if you don't think it.

    As for the alcohol, it could be dangerous to ingest any while in a depressed state, you might do something that you wouldn't do otherwise. I'm not saying you can't, but just try to take it in moderation if you have to, going overboard wouldn't be any good. It's just that I've seen a lot of people hurt by alcohol, and I don't want it to happen to you.

    Anyways, sorry if I didn't help at all, I just wanted to try to help at least. There have been so many times in my life now, where I thought; "If I killed myself back then, I'd never have been able to experience something this great". Keep on fighting, I'm rooting for you.
  6. darcy99

    darcy99 Member

    GreySilence, your words did help thank you. Yes, it is hard to see anything positive right now. I have been happy in the past and will try to focus on that and maybe I can be again. Alcohol is and has been a problem for years. I went to my first therapy session for it a couple of days ago. Hopefully I will be able to get it under control (my plan is to stop 100% but we will see). Thanks again for your support.
  7. GreySilence

    GreySilence Well-Known Member

    Glad to have helped! hope that the therapy sessions help you.
  8. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    1. Do you have plans and means to do yourself? Although you cannot mention it on this forum you can just easily say yes or no.
    2. Do you have a crisis team, can you call them and let them know everything
    3. Can you get to a+e
    4. Be willing to speak to someone about how you are feeling and see what they say, if they suggest hospital or involve crisis team then please say Yes.
  9. darcy99

    darcy99 Member

    Yoyogirl86, 1. yes 2. I don't have a personal crisis team as I can't tell my friends/family what is going on but I did call the suicide hotline once when I was really desperate and they were helpful and calmed me down so I could get through the night.
    I had my first visit with a therapist this week to work on my alcoholism and I did tell her about my suicidal thoughts/plan. I will consider your advice but I think she considered putting me in the hospital and I wasn't expecting that. I don't really want to be in a hospital. If I can get my drinking under control then maybe the anti-depressants will work better and then maybe my suicidal thoughts will lessen. It is a vicious cycle and overwhelming at times. Thanks for your response and for listening.
  10. SDG

    SDG Member


    Lying in bed with nothing but depressing thoughts is the worst. I know. I am so sorry that you feel this way, and I'd love to help in any way I can. Don't ever be sorry for reaching out. I want you to stay with us. That's why we're all here for you. It's so hard to stay strong when facing these kinds of feelings. I have never been good at it.
    But, you're so important.
    Please stay here.

    If you need someone to talk to, I am here. Please never hesitate to reach out.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2015
  11. darcy99

    darcy99 Member

    SDG, thanks for your support. Since I don't have anyone I can talk to in my personal life, it helps so much to have people like you that are willing to listen. Thanks again.
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