im 19 and 2nd year at uni. my mom wouldnt let me register for next semesters classes without double checking everything and trying ot convince me to take different courses to make everything look better when i graduate. take that and apply it to the rest of my life.
Now this makes more sense. You are right, you are a puppet it appears!
This scenerio is not unusual....what's unusual is the fact that you WANT TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE! We know you are quite intelligent and outsdie the scope of it, it is extreme.....that's why we get urges to jump.
You're almost done with school granted, it' not a perfect world...it will never be....nor will we ever be perfect. Have you tried to constructively sit down with your parents and say "Hey, I'd like to have more of a active part in decideing my future..." I think it's correct to say that most parents assume they know what's best for their children and think their decisions are the best...
There are ways to negotiate with them without making them feel like they are jailers and ways to explain that you are capable of making life decisions. Granted, they may offer more input only b/c they have more gray hairs...
The other side, you NEED help....resources to expand your closed in life. Why did you give up track? Sax? You assume the team doesn't need you in rugby? You've talked yourself into being NOTHING that you cannot see yourself doing anything......YOU HAVE 3.9 GPA in college....that has BEARING in this world....I know friends that have practically killed themselves to get a 3.5 One of my gf's agreed to an arranged marriage cuz she was going acadamically nutz....b/c she never reached out and said "hey folks, time out....let's regroup b/c I am going under...." you have a right to express your feelings.....
Have you consdiered adding a school therapist every other week to monitor you?