the end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ozinuk, Apr 6, 2010.

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  1. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    I have decided thatthis is it no point in staying where yor not wanted my life is unravelling before my eyes and I cant do anything to stop it. My life becoming a daily hell to much to think about tomuch pain to much sorrow to many decisions. I needto free myself I cant stay Im not afraid ....... I hate everything I am and what Iev become.:blub:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then it is time to change who you are and who you have become. Time to get a therapist to help you okay change your thoughts you way of coping Always new therapies out there new meds time to start healing okay
     
  3. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    to late dont know who I am anymore just take up space and oxygen got no right to be here there is no future only my past cant keep running
     
  4. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    people have no takn me seriously for several years now been dismissive of me I hope they're happy with the decision Ive made i hpe the silence of my death deafens them, this is crap
     
  5. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    i have struggled with my demns by myself or with very little help frm dr's i doubt these bastards would even remembr me i doubt they would lose any sleep when Im gone just anothr broken cog in the systm thats what theyd say.
    Im so angry so hurt. have taxi to take me to hall place at midnght I only have to get past the securty to my gum tree then ill be safe there ill be free and ...... who f**kin cares.
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I care....
    your daughters care...
    your new grandchild will care....
    don't do it steve....
    get some new doctors who will help you..
    theyre not all the same....
    call crisis..
    keep talking.....
    I care...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2010
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    you can't struggle with those demons by yourself....
    you need help with them..
    they are controling your thoughts..
    fight them...
    don't worry about making any decisions at the moment ...
    just concentrate on staying alive ...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 6, 2010
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Ronnie Ronnie is offline
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    Join Date: Nov 2009
    Posts: 1
    Re: PTSD is too much
    I have just returned from my trauma therapist, I go 2 days every week for ptsd and I understand how tired and exhausted u are. I am sick of me, but refuse to let me get in the way of any kind of life for my daughter an I. I keep trying each day to find at least one thing that makes me smile,laugh or cry that way I know I am still normal admidst all the abnormal(TO NON PTSD PEOPLE)thoughts,visions,memories,nightmares,manife stations of events in daily functioning skills ect.................just keep going for any reason so u dont leave someone else to feel the say way mainly if u care n hate all of it then dont pass it on to anybody else. consider yourself a soldier doing battle against the effects of whatever life events have lead u to the ptsd and the effects its had on your life................I have to do it tooooo n I am sick of it, but the alternative is whomever is left behind being stuck with some form of ptsd.........even if u think no one would care it would effect somebody ............just hang on,hang on,hang on and hang on again..........if for no other reason other then at least other suffewring people know they r not alone..........k......................k


    just read this in your other thread and I think it's appropriate...
    don't give up steve...
    keep that strength you have alive...
    if you're angry at the doctors then stay and prove the b*****ds wrong...
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    UNITED KINGDOM
    Samaritans
    Tel: 08457 909090 (National number charged at local call rates) [24 hrs]
    To find a local center in the UK, you can click here
    Minicom/textphone: 08457 90 91 92
    Email: jo@samaritans.org
    FAQ: Click.
     
  10. White_Darkness

    White_Darkness Well-Known Member

    NO! Don't you dare think like that!! You are NOT taking up space and oxygen that's just crazy talk! There will be people who will miss you and they will notice and don't you dare because you are needed here, right where you are. Suicide is NEVER EVER the answer. Please, please pretty please with a cherry on the top - remember that.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are people out there who will be able to help you.
    Life can be hell at times and I will not deny that, because I've been there. I've visited the dark place where you are at the moment, and I know what an awful and terrible place that is. I hope that I will never find myself there again. But - there's a way out. You will be able to leave that place. If you won't be able to do it on your own, others will help you find the way to a better place.
     
  11. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    i cant find the words to ..............f**k it i cant writ I have a head full of questions that need answerng can barely string 2 words together.:blub: I feel Ive lost all hope and Im afraid Id rather have no hope than false hope :lone:

    I'm so confused I have no direction cant focus I'm looking at my saviour and I'm wondering if it will be tnight time will tell :blub:
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hope you're still with us... :arms: What questions do you have, can you try to write some of them out?

    Always here if you feel like talking.
     
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    suicide is not the way...
    steve please don't go...
    as long as you're breathing there is hope..
    get to your girls and let them support you...
    I tried to email you to thank you ....
    I am so pleased to have gotten to know you and i hope to have the opportunity to get to know you better....
    pm anytime....
    yes please ask us the questions in your head.....get them outa there.
    stay safe....:hug:...:aussie:
    IV....:cry2:....:badday:
     
  14. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    things don't look any better in the light of day only more detail, can't seem to get the mix right meds to alcohol. :depressed

    feel like sh*t today physically and mentally I can't be here. Don't belong anywhere I need out :depressed:
     
  15. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    Ms

    You belong here with us and with your daughters. Go to them and let them help you. I know they want to. I know how hard it was to lose my dad and I haven't gotten over losing him and it has been almost 10 years. Please I'm begging you don't hurt yourself. We all love you so very much and want so much to help you. Please let us. Please! The world will be a much darker place without you.
     
  16. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    All I ever wanted out of life were the simple things the things that most people take for granted like love, friendship, happiness, trust and contentment just to name a few. Now all these things I was ever happy with are gone and without these (I call them my foundations) couple with all the other things that go on in my life my world is a pretty dead place. A place I don't belong, a place I was forced out of, a place where my soul and emotions died a long time ago where nothing lives only exists...................this is not a place this is my own private hell. :blub: :blub:
     
  17. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    I know you do precious. And you deserve that and so much much more. You deserve all the beautiful and great things in life. I just know that dying is not the way to get them. I beg you please go to your daughters and let them help you. They want to help you. They need to help you. We all love you so very much and want you to have all the things you said. So stay and let us help you have them.
     
  18. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Re: Ms

    I agree with summerchild....
    I know what you're saying about needing love, etc...
    you have a chance at getting that with your daughters....
    please stay strong and give them a go...
    I got so much out of helping my Dad...I'm sure they will too..
    :hug::aussie:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 7, 2010
  19. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Re: Ms

    Please let them help you. You're worth caring about, and worth helping.
     
  20. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    im coming to end I honestly don't know how much longer I have. ive cut myself off from my family I havent answered their calls or returned their messages because i can't bear to talk to them because of the shame I feel in disappointing them all, god I feel awful.....sick I can't keep anying down I cant think straight everthg seems to be moving in slow motion like a bad trip. my wife pushed a note under my door tellimg me how I failed her in everyway and i only have one redeeming feature my loyalty I'm glad I'll have that on my headston he was loyal.............. makes it all better. :blub: :blub: :blub:

    loyal and not a wife beater .................... her letter how much more does she want me to be sorry for I know I'm a failure i dont need reminding. I thought the jack daniels would numb the pain but no....... I wonder how long it will be before I'm missed. :sad:
     
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