The end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cowburn, Dec 11, 2011.

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  1. Cowburn

    Cowburn Well-Known Member

    I finally have a date planned. Tomorrow I'm going to see one of my favourite musicians live, after that I won't be returning home. For the first time in an awful long while I feel rather calm.

    These 20 years have been terrible. I am nothing, no one. Every little action, be it getting out of bed or going downstairs to make a drink is the hardest thing in the world. I have nothing driving me forward, just things taking me backwards. Crippling anxiety and depression brought me to this, and the lack of action from my so called family and those who were supposed to help people like me. I guess tonight I can put my feet up, have a couple of beers and just relax.


  2. Tealc

    Tealc Banned Member

    you sure you want to do this Matt ?
    i won't tell you the devastation that you will leave in your wake no matter how you see things, i don't know your issues or your pain but this is never the way to deal with it, i thought it was last monday when i attempted but i'm willing to give this life a go, what is needed for you to give this a go ?

    can you hold on, give yourself some pause to think clearly ?

    i'm sure you deserve to give yourself that bit of time mate
  3. BeingMe

    BeingMe Well-Known Member

    This solution is permanent, where as any problem isn't.

    I truly believe you shouldnt go through with this.

    I have been there and it destroyed my family, even though i pulled through they still feel like they've lost apart of me and it still brings my mother to tears so if you have anyone that cares about you i would seriously be thinking about them right now.

    Please reconsider, you can always change the bad things in your life.
  4. Sleep

    Sleep Active Member

    Don't give up, please.

    You won't be able to see the hurt left behind from your family that do love you. There are other ways of expressing your anger and feeling let-down by people. I sometimes wake up in the morning and wish I hadn't but I try and get the most out of every day which isn't much the last few months but I couldn't let my family deal with the grief of taking my own life.

    I don't know what else to say. Please reconsider - there are people that will help you get through your problems mate.
  5. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're here, I hope you stay here. There are medications for anxiety and depression, it's just finding that one, or several that make the difference.
    And I know well that it's hard to have patience when you're in pain, but the pain doesn't have to be permanent, you can find support and encouragement here, whatever the world throws your way. But that's only if you keep on living.

    You're important to us.

    And if nothing else, please consider your family and friends at this time of year, you would be guaranteeing that they will never enjoy the holidays again.
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Things can always change, if you can find the strength to give them time and try new things.
    Depression has made you feel like this but you can overcome it.
  7. Cowburn

    Cowburn Well-Known Member

    I decided to get in contact with the only person who means something to me, and tell her my plans. I didn't expect how upset she'd get, I feel horrible now. I was even contacted by phone. I can't go ahead and do it tomorrow, if not for me then for her. She's a great person and doesn't deserve to be left upset. Needless to say I feel like an utter dick now though.

  8. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    No need to feel like a dick if you found a reason to stay its all good. im pleased,your too young to give up on life
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