the extent of anxiety, depression and paranoia

Discussion in 'Therapy and Medication' started by oval, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    i very recently started therapy again and am meeting with a psychiatrist soon to discuss some medications. ive never been on medication before, only took st john's wort for a while. im going to make the important questions bold.

    now there is one thing i think about. what is the extent of depression and anxiety?
    what i mean by that is that ive had periods before where i.... i dont want to call it delusional... let me just give you some examples. i thought there were ghosts in my apartment and pleaded with "satan" to please let me "join" or side with him so they wouldn't hurt me. another night i was convinced that there was some kind of invisible demonic creature at the end of my bed. i stayed up all night that night in crippling fear, cursing out this "thing" that he can go "fuck himself!", "im finally happy now!" and that he (this demon) was not going to fuck with me now that things had just begun to look brighter (this was shortly after i moved far, far away from my dad and i was out of that environment). i am pretty paranoid and often times sit silently at my the door in the dark with an ax and a machete lol i know how that sounds. im very afraid of someone breaking in, although ive never experienced that before. so apart from the burglary/murder/rape statistics in the city i live, there isnt like a past "trauma" that causes me to freak out. i have also seen things moving in the corner of my eye, like the corner of a pillow would bend up and down. lastly, i have a smell and taste dysfunction where i hallucinate tastes and smells. now the last one can have several reasons. i had an MRI done where nothing physiological was found. im just putting all these things into consideration. i mean, you kind of have to.

    my question is, is it possible for these things to fall into the depression and anxiety category? my anxiety was pretty freaking bad at times, so could that, in combination with my paranoia, have made me imagine things? what exactly is normal paranoia? or, is paranoia normal? lol
    essentially, where im going with this is that im kind of wondering if something else is going on or if its just the bad mix of depression, anxiety and normal (?) or intense paranoia. what is normal, really? i know i have to be honest with the psychiatrist in order to get the right medication and treatment plan, but naturally, im afraid ill get more than just an antidepressant and i dont want that. i will be honest with him but before i do tell him, i would like to have some feedback from people here, just bc im nervous.

    does anybody recognize these symptoms?

    (on a side note as a little more information, i have a BPD diagnosis that im certain was a misdiagnosis. im saying that simply bc i dont have the symptoms anymore. they have completely disappeared. i got the diagnosis at 20 and was caught at a bad time in my life, so its impossible for that to be accurate.)

  2. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Hi oval, I read your post and I can tell you about my symptoms to see if they are similar.

    A while ago I was pretty bad with anxiety and depression. I was paranoid that everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back. I do still think that sonetimes. I also thought I was seeing things. Like at the corner of my eye thinking something was there. I think it was just my mind playing tricks but I do think it gets worse when you are anxious.

    I got very edgy when I heard the slightest bump I jump and was on edge all the time.

    I think everyone is different but I would advise you to open up and tell your doctor/therapist everything. They might give you answers so you can understand what's going on.
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Hi oval,

    It's possible that some of your symptoms are caused by anxiety, however the paranoid delusions and hallucinations worry me as they sound more like symptoms of psychosis. Do you notice if you have mood cycles between energetic with increased energy, racing thoughts and pressured speech, then a week or more later notice your mood drop? Do you only get the psychosis when you are anxious or depressed or do you have other symptoms? I only ask because I have bipolar disorder and get psychosis if I am cycling through moods, but depending what my problem is it affects me differently.