We seemed to have similar minds. Did she like I did research it as painstakingly as she seemed to everything else? I assume so as the lines ran parallel to the vein a purple-grey mark instead of a scarlet letter. I wonder if she regrets that she failed as I sometimes regret my own failure and the white, raised evidence of that pointless attempt. Twenty-one years my senior and she didn’t seem to have any greater grasp on the reasons. It frightened me. The thought that time would not make all clear. That age is not an anodyne against the surprise of suffering. I cannot help but feel in retrospect that I failed her just as I failed myself. Though I am not enough of an objective observer to say whether I was failed in turn.