When I was much young my ultimate suicide fantasy was for me to summon up the courage to off via overdose and die in my sleep. I imagined everyone feeling "bad" for me taking mylife and how they would finally realize that I "meant business". I thought of myself almost as a badass for Wanting to exit this world. I imagined that I would be able to just slip away and exit all the suffering and for everything to just cease to exist. I see this fantasy as a form of escapism. I know what was causing it and why I still have suicidal thought. I am not mentally ill I was and am simply responding to the aggravators. Like being pushed over the edge by stress and circumstances. In the end I just want to escape.