I'm doing poorly at work, I don't think my family loves me. Last night my boyfriend dumped me and yeah i know that's not serious enough to be hurt about so stop crying. I need an escape and if i take it and it fails my family will have to start all over. i can't put them through another year of trying to understand what is going on. i watched them struggle to understand. i just got a good job but i can't even function at it. i'm trying my best to pretend. i am looking forward to going back to school but am i really? and even this time around its different. before there was so much anger and now i'm tired. i have been here before so why should i be here again? how do people stay sane? if i fail again then my family suffers, my work suffers, my relationship with my now ex suffers. if i stay and pretend i could have him as a friend, my family as my family, my work as my work but at what cost? how do i do this without failing? i don't want someone rescuing me. i just want to escape for good.