the feeling is looming ever closer

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wheresmysheep, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    so right now i'm dealing with a few things.
    my mum is at me because i am listening to a psychologist and not her ideas like how she told me to create goals and i didnt, then the psychologist told me to create goals and i did. she says i never listen to her and never take on board what she says.
    she also says i'm lying about things but she thinks i believe the lies. such as i told a nurse that i didnt have any friends and i dont get on with my bf;s friends, but then i said i like them to my mum.
    is it not different when your talking about close friends whom you can have a proper conversation with, who knows you and knows what you've been through. to people you can just sit with and have a few drinks with in a pub.
    its not lying is it? or am i the only one that see's it like this?

    then we have her going on about my bf, and after the "misshap" ( for those that dont know he kissed someone else, but i have forgiven him and i love him) ok it still plays on my mind, doesnt make me feel very great, but we all make mistakes and we all have our faults, he is genuinely sorry for it happening, but she just wont give up about it. she says he's a pig and he's a negitive influence on me and he's no good for me getting better. and quite frankly makes me feel shit for loving him and wanting to be with him., it also adds alot more pressure to the pot that i'm already dealing with.
    she also keeps saying "you have to want to get better" and i honestly dont think i do. i just want to end it all. be done with it be gone. i'm feeling so low and i have no where to turn
    i'm not even allowed on here any more i have to do it by sneaking around. i'm 21 ffs
  2. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    You know my thoughts emma, hope you hang in there :hug:
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    My mom constantly explains and advises. I have friends that do that. My husband does that. It drives me nuts.

    I try my best not to do that, but it's a process of self learning and practicing. The bottom line is that I do the same thing with my grown kids. I call it "mother's fear."

    Do you live with your mum?
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    yes i do live with my mum, and i find it very stressful. i'm trying to get better and she's having a go at me for getting better through someoen elses methods than her own
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Well Emma, she should be glad you are getting better regardless of how.

    I say just ignore her for the time being. And tell her, that u love her, but you have to work on staying safe and if that means working with someone other than your Mom, so be it.
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