The feeling is stronger than ever

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blackfire, Dec 26, 2006.

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  1. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I have an obsession with death and dying.

    So many people want to die. What is stopping them?

    I want more than anything to die right now. I purposely don't take my sleeping med so I can stay up all night.

    Tonight is the night just out of pure impulse.
    I have had enough of this shit canned world and am departing tonight.
    I will start the process when everyone has gone to bed.
    I will be intouch until then.

    Please...I ask for no replies to this. I am dying in peace tonight. Winter was always the chosen time for me. Jane, good bye and be strong. Roses thanks for being there.

    And so the end begins......
  2. Imagination

    Imagination New Member

    I dont know if i can help you for im not that good socialy but i do know how it feels to want to act on an impulse. 1st you should think about exactly what you are thinking, just think hard. And think about how things will change so drastically for the people around you. Also I dont know about others but whenever i acted upon impulse, I was always wrong.
  3. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Please don't do this on impulse.
    Please be 110% sure before you make such a permanent decision.
    I don't know you, but I care.
  4. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I am sane, sober and sure this is it.
  5. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that, and I really hope that you change your mind. :sad:
  6. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    Have you ever heard of Bonjovi?

    Lyrics to a song of theirs that explains a part of me.

    We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
    We'll give it a shot.

    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

    Take my hand and we'll make it
    I swear - livin' on a prayer.

    We've got to hold on to what we've got
    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

    We've got to hold on ready or not

    You live for the fight when it's all that you've got.

    We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
  7. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    At least we all got something to live for.
  8. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I think the fight has beaten me into the ground. This site is the only thing that is keeping me alive. If I didn't find it I would already be dead. I keep hoping that life will get better. it only gets worse and takes me with it. I am unsure what to do anymore. I can't seem to get ahead of the game on earth. It just sucks the big one.
  9. DownINoc

    DownINoc New Member

    I dont think I could actually kill myself. Ive thought about it before, but I had the opportunity once and I backed out. Im really sad right now my husband is talking about leaving me. I doubt anyone I know actually reads this forum, but just in case I dont want to reveal to much. How can I make him want to stay? I did something to him...not the other way around...and no I didnt cheat on him.

    I just want advice on what I can say to make him stay. I will be a much happier person.
  10. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to tell you.
  11. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I hope you can find the strength to fight another round. You seem like such a great person!
  12. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    Thankyou Rukia for talking with me.
  13. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    No need for thanks, I'm happy to talk with you anytime :smile:
  14. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    blackfire, I hope you stay alive. You're a good person and are a tremendous help to others here. I know how much it hurts, how tired of the fight you are. I'm there as well. Maybe we can help each other through this and find a way to keep on fighting for another day.
  15. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member


    I know this sounds obsurd but I am going to set myself up for ending it and if i wake in the morning I was meant to live. If I don't I will be somewhere else. Life itself is a gamble. iam going to play Russian rolet with my life.
  16. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    Oh blackfire, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I wish I could take it away for you. I hope that you can find the strength to hold on. PM me if you want to talk.
  17. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    ok kitty i will pm you in a minute.
  18. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    Rukia is there anything i can do for you?
  19. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Wait blackfire please i just read your title and i'm really sorry:sad: ,the time here in Australia is far ahead and i just came online.I know there are so many question's but so few answer's or as it seem's no answer's.We wonder how much we suffer and we think for what?I know what pain you're in and it's the worst feeling in the world,and I know what it feel's like when you're at a point where you've exhauseted all option's but to feel you've come to that dreaded finish line.
    Yes I do have these constant thought's myself and while driving last night was pondering so much as well,are there thing's in particular that bring you down or hurt you so much?I know it could be a tough one to answer because at times for me I say well It's everything and anything pretty much and I can't say it's one particular thing.
    So we feel pretty screwed i know,we can talk about thing's and share as much as we can.I know life is such a bitch and we do so much to try and enjoy a better one but we so much feel we're just enduring some sought of existance.I also know I probably preach this alot yet can't seem to adapt these thing's myself Why?I don't know i guess maybe it's a strange one really.
    But perhap's we can talk over thing's I can do the best I can and will alway's listen to you and be here as much as I possibly can.
    I don know how much you're hurting and it is unbearable but I can do what I can for you I PROMISE.
  20. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    blackfire are you there? why arent you answering my pms?
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