The fight between body and mind

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Menchi, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. Menchi

    Menchi Well-Known Member

    This is hard to explain, so sorry if it seems a bit odd.

    At the moment, my head keeps driving me downwards, the past two days or so particularly, its like a weight that no matter how much i try to fight, in the end it pulls me back down to the bottom, and i feel like i want nothing more than to end it. It feels like that is going to be the only way i can stop the pain of it, it actually feels like a physical weight inside me, i can feel it pushing against my neck and my chest, like my own body is trying to do it to me...

    Most of the time i can fight off one with the other... like if my head is driving me to it, i can force my body not to move, not to do anything, and if its my body, my head can force myself to fight it off, to breathe again, to think myself out of it... but when its both of them together, like it is now, its very hard to take control, and not do something to... to end it...

    I think its stress more than anything that triggers things off, and i have no way to get away from it because of the way things are here. I just need some idea if anyone else gets the same, or if there is any other way of dealing with it.
  2. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    I feel that way all the time. My body and head fight all the time. I understand what you are saying when they both work together how hard it is to fight. But you have to fight. Please don't give into the feelings. We need you here. What has you feeling this way?:console:
  3. Menchi

    Menchi Well-Known Member

    I don't think i am needed anywhere to be truthful. I just... i can't do anything, my head feels like it blocks me at every turn, i can't try anything, i can't make anything work out... i'm broken i think.

    Its kind of like when i think, there are other thoughts in there, and no matter what, they always conflict with each other, like trying to push too many clothes into the draw at once, they block, and none of them get through. The only time it does is when its a thought that wants me to end it.

    The worst part is, a lot of the time, i can't work out what is causing it the past couple of days. Usually, when i feel like this, i know what it is, its something which has damaged me to the point i can't take it, but right now, it just happens. Thats why im worried, because if there is no cause to fight, or get over... what can i do to stop it.
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