This is hard to explain, so sorry if it seems a bit odd. At the moment, my head keeps driving me downwards, the past two days or so particularly, its like a weight that no matter how much i try to fight, in the end it pulls me back down to the bottom, and i feel like i want nothing more than to end it. It feels like that is going to be the only way i can stop the pain of it, it actually feels like a physical weight inside me, i can feel it pushing against my neck and my chest, like my own body is trying to do it to me... Most of the time i can fight off one with the other... like if my head is driving me to it, i can force my body not to move, not to do anything, and if its my body, my head can force myself to fight it off, to breathe again, to think myself out of it... but when its both of them together, like it is now, its very hard to take control, and not do something to... to end it... I think its stress more than anything that triggers things off, and i have no way to get away from it because of the way things are here. I just need some idea if anyone else gets the same, or if there is any other way of dealing with it.