The final hurdle?

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by chaoman, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. chaoman

    chaoman New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I'm Chao. I decided to sign up on these forums when I simply couldn't stop my negative thoughts about myself. I really want to get back on track but it seems so hard.

    Little bit about me.

    I'm a 21 year old male residing in Australia. Born in the UK, I moved to Switzerland at a young age leaving behind most of my family and all friends. I didn't speak the language and was bullied. From age 9-15 I saw a psychiatrist twice a week. I just began to settle in when I was told that my father had to relocate to Australia for work. I ran away from home and attempted to overdose on my drugs. I saw the psychiatrist 5 days a week for 2 weeks in the final month in Europe.
    Since moving to Australia my family and I have made no effort to know any of our neighbors and we as a family have no friends. When I finished highschool not a single friend spoke with me anymore. Over the years they have removed me from social media without saying anything. I tried university but ended up so addicted to Online Games that I flunked it, costing over $10000. I tried college instead. I had great friends there but as we finished in December all of my friends got a job with the same company. I also applied for the job but got declined since I couldnt drive (the job is computer technician at schools). Since then I have tried applying for hundreds of jobs and have been declined either on lack of experience or due to not being able to drive.
    As a child I was often sick, my worst being 3 weeks in hospital with HSP. My immune system is bad and I am stuck with colds, fevers, sinusitis. I am half deaf, with hearing aids. I am shortsighted as well. My thyroid started to go bad two years ago and now I am on eutroxsig. I also have chronic asthma and my last test showed I use my lungs to roughly 60% of their capacity. When I turned 21 I was no longer covered by health insurance, and without a job I can't afford it.

    So I am sick, jobless and I have no friends. My family are all very busy and think I am lazy, telling me that I'm useless and should get a job. I want to just end my life since I don't seem to be able to do anything right, but even then that'd be putting a financial burden on my parents. I am tempted to fly to an asian country and just die there instead.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just wanted to say hi, and welcome to SF. I'm sorry for all you've been through, and I hope you can make friends and connect with people on here.
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to say hello and welcome to SF
    it seems that you been through a lot recently hugs to you stay strong x
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Welcome to SF I hope you find the support you need, I'm around normally if you need to talk things through just message

    Take care

  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forums, I hope you find this site useful to you.
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