The final poem *triggering*

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Deleted SKU, Feb 10, 2011.

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  1. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    How can it come to this, a single page, an expression of a life.
    They all ask how it came to this, they didn't know or understand.
    My hand shakes, is it excitement or fear. Or both, holding to this strife.
    The inability to live to the heights set by this lifes cruel demand.
    A note expressing nearly nothing, there is nothing left worth writing.
    Every battle is lost, every hope is crushed, every dream has faded.
    A simple statement only to say why i could not live just fighting.
    In a life once full of future promise, in the darkness cold and jaded.
    Just to know that no-one here now could have stopped what i must do.
    Maybe that would help them not to wonder why no-one at least tried.
    In my death why hurt the living, save them from the secrets true.
    As i wipe my eyes in passing, no tearstains to show i cried.
    Just the crimson accents slowly seeping from my shattered soul.
    As this painful life i was forced to endure slowly drifts from mortal sight.
    My breathing slows, my body falls, my eyes drift closed out of my control.
    To those still here, in this cruel sad world, i wish good luck and goodnight.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    As usual beautifully written and i will continue to reach out and hold on to you in hope you will continue to fight to get the supports needed to heal
     
  3. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    I sincerely hope this will not be your final poem. Your words although sad give off this sense that you want to help others, and the act of helping others will somehow help you. I could very very possibly be wrong in my assessment. I know I often find meaning and purpose in being an ear. So if you ever need to send a PM to me, I will be there to listen, to talk, or just send you a digital hug. ((HUG))
     
  4. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    You're right i guess, if i could help others, i would feel better about myself. If i can't find value in who i am, at least i can find it from helping people with value.

    I guess i'm not sure quite what this is... at the time i was thinking of it almost as a suicide note, as i was that far gone, then just remembering the times that i tried to write them, and how i felt then. How much i wanted to say the right words, whilst having nothing really to say on it... and it helped take the edge off the feelings, at least for yesterday.
     
  5. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Believe me I understand all too well how writings like these can help take the edge off. I have wrote similar, although less astute then yours. Sometimes I don't know what to say either, in those time I free write. Just writing stray thoughts that enter my head, words that would have little intelligible meaning to someone other then myself. I think as time passes a persons inner-self changes, and often looking back at those free writings can be very entertaining. Sometimes those writings will be senseless drivel, other times they will make you smile and laugh at them wondering what in the world was I thinking at the time. Occasionally you will read one of them and see a spark an idea. Something which can be honed, perfected, and rewritten into something inspirational to others and yourself.

    That might not make any sense. Like I said, I am not very astute of a writer.
     
  6. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    I do understand what you are saying... all my writing is kind of like that, off the top of my head, trying to get the stuff down before the thoughts overtake it. I can't really write to plan, or focus too well on anything, which is why most of my writing feels... unfinished i guess. Like i could do better, use more appropriate language, get a better rhythm, or a more coherant path... it seems to go where i go whether or not i want to get it there, and plenty of times i've had to toss half-finished writing because i lose the thread with it, and can't just pick it back up, and don't really like looking back over what i have written, because i always judge it badly, second guess myself.
     
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