The first attempt *might trigger*

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by xoCherie, Sep 20, 2011.

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  1. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    I had my first attempt sunday night. It was after coming on here. All i had access to was my <edit moderator total eclipse method>. started on my right wrist, got four cuts in, when i noticed i was light-headed and my left hand was tingling. I fainted, and when i woke up the next morning i cried my eyes out. I'd failed. Even my body wanted me to suffer, wanted me to be fucked up. My mum saw the cuts and asked if i was ashamed. I lied and said yes, when i wanted to smile and trace them all. They're a reminder to cut deeper next time.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am surprise your mother did not take you to hospital hun and gt you somehelp hugs to you
  3. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    Does you mother know about your cutting? Did she know it was a suicide attempt? I hope you feel better. I know how terrible I would feel if my mother just brushed me off like that.
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Sorry to see any young girl or boy start this self inflicted injury.

    I knew someone who did this - a few people actually - someone close to me.

    Bullying was the reason - lots of young people go through the horrible process - many keep it to themselves which is wrong!!

    Other things can cause cutting - stressful things obviously - nobody cuts themselves because they feel good.

    So - although its hard to confess - bear in mind people are used to this - we read people relating all manner of painful things - and the reason people cut is because something is really eating them up inside.

    You got your identity protected here - people get to know you - but obviously we like to be private and not for people to know how we feel inside - but we have to tell someone. We really do,

    So what is it that makes you cut?

    Not being accepted at school?

    Anyone bullying you - even verbal - or sometimes being ignored which is not bullying as such but - not very nice also.

    And I know that cutting - causing yourself pain - blocks a greater pain - for a short while. So would walking ten miles - that would take your mind off the emotional pain - but until we know what that is - we cannot really say walking a million miles would make it better. Sometimes talking is the only way - and having people who you trust around you.

    As for cutting deeper - please don't do that.

    Your pain will not be lessened - the cuts will scar if you do enough - and maybe aged 30- 40 you might be thinking of tattoos to cover scars (many girls do this in later life - boys also)

    Next time you feel real pain and want to cut - take off your shoes and socks - there is a painful spot on the sole of your foot - used in the ancient healing arts of various wide ranging cultures - but you will find that spot - apply pressure with your thumb - and it WILL hurt - but its only reflexology - we call it that today but the ancient Egyptians - called it whatever they called it. Chinese use it also - and most mums massage the babies feet.

    Well this painful spot - kind of in the middle of the sole of your foot - does heal headaches and so on.

    Also Chinese acupuncture - if you study the charts - things like squeezing your earlobe - simple move - but supposed to ease tension - and you will be tense in the moments leading up to the decision to cut yourself.

    IF you are young - I'd recommend walking - although as stated - we need to know what you are feeling the negatives that make you feel this way.

    Hope you can articulate those for us.

    Sorry to see you this way - hate to see any young person going through this when all you need is someone to tell you that they understand WHY you do it - but also understand why its a bad idea.

    Hope some of this helps - hope you can share with us here and would feel privileged if you did so at our request.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2011
  5. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    Okay so let me just start off by saying this: I'm sorry for scaring you guys. I typed this off my phone, when it would let me log in, because I didn't have any internet access, and I couldn't reply because at first I had no way to log in, and then I just forgot to.
    I don't even remember why I did that, why I thought that. But I remember being in such a bad mindframe...I just wished I was dead. I really did. But I'm proud to say I haven't fallen that far again, and I don't exactly plan to.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sorry to hear about your attempt, but I'm glad that you are safe now. It's good that you aren't in that mindframe anymore, and hopefully won't be there again. Please keep us updated and keep posting :hug:
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