To be honest, right now the future scares the hell out of me. I think maybe it always has. Is that normal? Do people usually look forward to what's up ahead? My prospects are looking pretty bleak at the moment. I'm a student, twenty years old, and I've just 'finished' my second year of university studying computer science. I say 'finished' because I actually failed two modules (both the final exams and coursework) and I have to retake all of it if I want to go on to my third year - three pieces of coursework and two exams - in about 33 days. I really have a lot of work to do if I want to be able to get a passing grade and go onto my final year of study. The problem is, I can't seem to make myself do anything. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Pretty much all I do is play video games and I don't even enjoy that anymore, all I'm doing is passing time until I don't know what. I drink a lot in the evenings because it makes the time pass quicker. My parents tell me that I need to study and work hard so that I can get qualifications and get a job but I don't want qualifications or a job right now. I don't know what I want. I think I'm so afraid of failure that I don't even want to try.. I'm really lonely, and I'm really scared too. The future is coming at me like a steam train and I either need to get on board or get out of the fucking way, but I don't know which. I don't know who to talk to, I've never been close enough to my family to open up to them and I don't really have any friends. I don't even know what I'd say to them anyway. I spent about half an hour writing this out. I'm crying right now and I feel sick. Honestly, maybe I'm hoping somebody here will take the time to read this any offer me some advice but I'm not really holding out. Everyone has problems. SF, it's 9:51 in the morning on the 29th of July 2010, thirty-three days until Judgement Day. What's wrong with me?