The future

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Krem, Aug 20, 2010.

  1. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    We will go through life, filled with disappointments, pain, humiliation, stress, abandonment, resentment and regrets, with every person we know and like dying around us, until we are naught but dying, dry shells, withered, diseased and senile, where each breath is a thousand knifes, and your mind is your enemy, where we'll see our children- if we had any- see us as a liability, wishing we'd just die right there to spare them the discomfort, if they don't just send us away to a home where we can rot in peace for them. We won't be able to take care of ourselves, we'll be treated as children. Worse, actually, since people actually like children, and find it cute when they soil themselves, but witness nothing more than disgust, looking down on us as we mindlessly waste away.

    But, no, that's all worth it, because living has some internal value, just because. It'll all be worth it in the end, yes? Some divine spirit, an afterlife, something to justify our misery, right? Don't say there's nothing, don't you dare.

    But what if we dare? What if we dare say there's nothing, believe there's nothing, know there is nothing? That there is no excuse, that there is no salvation, that what there is is all there is, not even "Sorry for the inconvenience".

    And yet we get up in the morning, dragged forward through life, until we wake up one day in our 50s, realising we've wasted our potential, blissfully unaware that we never had any, that what happened would've happened anyway, that we'd never have done differently.

    It'd be quickest to get it all over with, it's all way too much effort for hardly any reward, and yet one hesitates. Is it the pain, the fear of pain, or the fear of being wrong? Is it that we'll hurt someone by our passing, that we think so highly of ourselves that people would stop their lives at our deaths? Is it because there are things to experience, from an unreleased game to love to having your son look up to you, stating how proud he is at having you for a father? Or do we maybe fear something darker, that we will eternally wander the wastes of reality, forever trapped outside, without light, warmth, or hope? That we'll become so utterly damned, so isolated, to eventually go mad, until we will cease to exist, being spread too thin, that we will be shut down after millions of years of aimless drifting..

    ...cheerful shit, isn't it? Blagh.
    (No, don't want anyone to answer any of the questions I "asked" here. I wasn't asking, just a 'train of thought', if it do ya fine. I'd take up some sort of narcotics if I believed in them, and wasn't so cheap.)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Me think you think way to much you need to go have some mindless fun and enjoy living before it is over take care okay
  3. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Kinda like what violet said :tongue:.

    I tend to think too much for my own good, I need to change that one day. Or I'll probly end up with a hole in my head :unsure:.

    I hope that in the end everything'll be ok....
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    All the things I think about too Krem...and it's scarey..
  5. CalifradMT

    CalifradMT Member

    I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your writing and that I hope you know you have a gift there, in writing.

    It's all a big mystery to me. But reading things like what you wrote makes me glad I am here.
  6. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    ..what? Thinking that life will only get worse makes you glad you'll go through it?

    If I were a robot, I'd explode.
  7. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Heya krem. I think I get why you are so pissed off when you post sometimes. Well, atleast from a train of thought sort of way. People just stop and loop back on a pivot point and that's as far as they allow their perceptional depth to go. Alot of people seem to keep the aspects of this perceieved position of exsistence as the center point for all related perceptional depths. It's frustrating for me, because if you go deeper, the aspects that we create here from this perception are usually brought into further perceptions where they don't apply.

    Though they do in another aspect of the whole greater scheme if you believe in infitinity since every possibility is happening or going to happen. I suppose both happening and going to happen exsist since the possibility is there, but those two break the concept of time, which is another possiblity in itself.

    Donno if im on your exact train of thought with my post, but just wanted to say, fuck em man. The more frustrating it gets the deeper down you go, the more challenges your perception gets, and if you can harness it, the further you can go. Though I sincerly bet you know that already

    Nice post :)

    Do you believe in equilibrium? For as every negative there is a positive in that concept? If it get's worse, the same concepts that make it worse can be applied to make it better, and then the concept of equilibrium can disappear and it can get worse to the extreme, but the possiblity that the concept of equilibrium never disappeared is there which allows for the positive to possibly exsist aswell.

    For me, the worse my perception gets, the better it can get. Im trying to find the middle ground of new concepts and perceptions, trying not to apply them without directing the application of those concepts, as to smooth sail through deeper. And also to mentally bombard myself with the negative applications of those perceived perceptions, to atleast be aware of their exsistence, even in another fundamental realm of perceieved existence.

    Yeah.. I suck with english. Bridging the gap between thoughts and the limitations of my understanding of the english language is a bit tedious, espeically for others to read.

    Anyhow, kindaj ust dawned on me. Your post was from a sort negatively directed pov, which doesn't represent your internal pov. So, I suppose me asking you if you believing in equilibrium was from a narrow minded pov of you. My bad :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2010
  8. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Man there needs to be a forum rule that you have to warn people about text walls!

    I almost fell asleep thinking about reading that.Then I looked at the replys to the text wall and I almost flipped right off my bed.
  9. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    Luckily you'll never need to read something longer- Like a book or an article.

    To Blake: Your post makes me think of a psychedelic trip more than anything.
    Now, on your equilibrium, there is nothing that states that there must be, or that there is, balance, to any of life's experiences.
    People do not die from "old age"- Something else kills them. Similar to AIDs. Unless you die previously due to an accident/murder/suicide, you will grow old, your brain will become useless over time, and eventually some disease will kill you. The joys you can have? A spouse whom you'll watch die, or who'll watch you die, children who will consider you a liability whom you might also watch die, not needing to work (because you're unfit for it), having loads of spare time to do anything (Even though over time you won't be able to do anything), and more.

    Sure, you could think that "things'll be better", or that you "led a good life". But the first one will most likely be a lie, since the reversing of aging is still far away, and the second, well, you're on SF. Happy, well-balanced people don't really frequent such sites, but I'm sure there are some.

    But, hey, what would be enough for you to willingly watch your body, mind, and friends die slowly around you? How much would you charge to have your sanity, self-respect, and independence ooze away over the years? And how likely is it that you'll get that?

    ..if this has nothing to do with your reply, blame it on our combined lack of communication skill. :)
  10. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    This is well written I give you that. It reminds me of the stuff that I used to write while in my depressing hole of despair. But there is always hope friend. If an ex crack head prostitute can find it anyone can right? So why don't you let go of the passion for the doom and gloom and redirect your efforts to find hope, and truth. Just my suggestion blessings..
  11. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    Yeah, because I choose to think like that. "Letting go" as you put it is as simple as pressing a button, yeah? A button in your brain that selects Happy/Sad, which we all have, right? How silly of us to go to therapy, take meds, or seek support when all we have to do is push said button, to just "let go". :)
  12. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I did it, so anyone can, once you realize that you are holding onto this sad existance out of comfort you can let go, and start a life worth living. Blessings..
  13. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    By your logic, because Niels Bohr made great leaps in the understanding of atoms, anyone can do it. And because Antonio Lucio Vivaldi made fantastic music, anyone can do it. And because Alexander III of Macedon conquered thousands of square miles, anyone can do it. And because Borjigin Tem├╝jin (Gengis Khan) conquered most of Asia, anyone can do it.
  14. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    A bit tired krem and out of it, so my reply might be a bit weak. I suppose by equilibrium I mean in balance in all forms of life. We attribute death and emotions as pivot points,(and in one perceptional dimension they are) so the balance may never appear in that percieved existence. I mean within the restraints of live and death as they relate to us. I was meaning from the point of view of that energy can not be created nor destroyed.(as far as we understand)

    I donno about death. it's just something that keeps me comforted I suppose. Because death to me, is me breaking down into my core elements, and them being combined with other elements, slowly spreading across the world/solar system/galexy/universe :S . I know you probably can rip that apart but, essentially we are the complex combination of elements. Our thoughts are a chemical reaction happening in our brain, which is still a complex setup of elements. I'm not sure how thought works exactly, but I assume since cells of all types are written from a base genetic code that is passed from one cell to the next, that we are not the same person that we were a moment ago. We are constantly reproduced, with a carried genetic code, where I suppose in the brain those specific cells that deal with memory are reproduced with that specific chemical reaction or genetic imprint in them, which is carried on to the next set.

    I donno, i never went into biology, and Im sure it's longer than a moment for the overall breakdown of a cell, but the deeper you go, I know that there is always something happening, as in growth to decay. On view of just a cells lifespan, there is no equilibrium, because it breaks down, so from it's creation there is some sort of genetic issue that causes it to break down. "Natural" sure, but it's something that is "out" of balance. Such as a deficiency can amplify the decay of a cell through other various methods. I just wonder, if the deeper we go, the more that we understand the construction and movement of all the elements composing the cell, we might be able to understand their connection and perhaps modify or reconstruct them in a more unified way so they don't decay at such a rate.
    Though I suppose if memories and all that happens in our minds is a combination of chemcial reactions or simply just elements, perhaps if we could comprehend the complexity of their structure we could recreate our own essence, or I suppose learn to structure a genetic sequence that corresponds with specific memory structures that could be implanted(or simply a cell modified) so that it can reproduce in a person.

    I suppose Im jumping on assumptions.. it could be cool, but that lingers on immortality or simply just the creation of a more modified lifeform. And I suppose if we ever got that far we could reconstruct other objects/simple lifeforms, or perhaps even someday analize the entire structure of our own bodies and reconstruct them at a later date.

    I donno. it's like comprehending the universe. The term "universe" is such a damper on existence, compared to the awe of it. I love the thoughts of zooming out to the movement of life on earth, to the movement in our solar system, to the milkyway, to the known universe. And then I love the thoughts of moving deeper into ourselves, from cells to dna to the Concept of genetics, to atoms and electrons and neutrons and protons., and quarks.. just wondering what other life forms exsist from these depths or expanses like we exists on earth and our perceptional understanding, interacting with their own environment from their own perceptional understanding, oblivious to our created existence.

    Death to me, and all the subsequent feelings and sensations seem so minute. Someone can live and die, and we still exist, so I should live and die and life still exist. And nothings wasted, just reconnected.

    I think this reply is stupid. Im tired in all manner of the word. Trying to believe in passion and feel it, and then use it is so tireing at times. All I want now is to sleep, but im starting to not see any joy in that. Sorry if this is a disjointed reply Krem. All I guess I can say is, there are people whom contimplate the questions you question and discover many new and exciting things that can be shared. I hope you find a few of them, you seem to be willing to keep looking at things atleast.
  15. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    It's all the shit inbetween the despair and sorrow that's supposed to be good. All that shit inbetween is called hapiness. Some examples of hapiness are hapiness in landing that dream job, hapiness in seeing your [gran]children grow, enjoying holiday with your family, getting that dream scholarship, enjoying riches, sex, going out with friends. Sure it'll all die out, but hapiness sure feels good in the moment, no denying that.

    Oh, by the way, not everyone gets it, but if you can, enjoy.
  16. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Ive tried so hard not to get sucked into that happiness by finding content fullfillment in the awareness of unknown things. Donno, those forms of happiness seem to all get in the away for me of being aware of things because of the hypocrisy that comes with them when trying to see other perspectives. They just teach me to create blind spots in my perspective so I can enjoy certain pleasures.
    Which like you say are enjoyable